


Stitch by Stitch

by Ayooheather



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance, Slow Burn, romanogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-08-19 15:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8213725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayooheather/pseuds/Ayooheather
Summary: AU. AU. Steve Rogers is a war vet who can't seem to adjust back to normal, whatever normal was. His past and the war had damaged him to the point he doesn't know he could be fixed. A slow burn romanogers fan fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first AU fan fic. I'm such romanogers trash. *crosses fingers for them to finally be canon.

Chapter 1:

Steve Roger’s life had never been a walk in the park. He grew up an only child, raised by a hard working single mother. His father had abandoned him and his mother before Steve was born so his mother had to work two jobs - sometimes three just to make ends meet. To make matters worse, Steve always seemed to land in the hospital - whether it be because of his health or the injuries he acquired from fighting with other kids. He was a late bloomer (at least that’s what his mother said) so he was smaller than all of the other kids his age - skinny, short and almost awkward looking. And because his family was so poor, his clothes and shoes were all from the good will or given to him by the church they attended every Sunday which only meant more bullying. As small and fragile as he was, he always stood his ground and fought back even if it meant he had to take a trip to the doctors. To him, it was worth it (even though he would constantly get yelled at for being reckless and impulsive by his mother) and he didn’t blame his mother for their situation. The reality was, they were poor and he was different from the other kids. There wasn’t much that could be done about either of those. Instead of resenting it, he ended up appreciating his mother more. She did the best she could given the hand she was dealt. What mattered was they had a roof over their heads and food on the table - more importantly they had each other.

Eventually, things started to change. Summer of sophomore year, Steve finally hit his growth spurt. He went from being a 5’5 skinny boy to a 6’0 athletic built man so by the time school began again, it was like he was a new student - no one recognized him. Not only did he look different, his health conditions had somehow miraculously become nonexistent. People around him started treating him differently especially when he had joined the baseball and football team. The guys who bullied him were now giving him respect and the girls who once ignored him were now begging for his attention. Just as he was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, he had found out a few months later that his mother was dying from cancer. It was ironic how all the money had saved on him and his medical issues were now being spent on chemotherapy and trying to save his mother’s life. The rest of his high school career was spent juggling between school, work, and taking care of his mother. She ended up passing away at the end of his senior year which lead him to where he was right now - a 26 year old veteran (served 3 tours) who was now trying to assimilate back into normal everyday living.

For the most part, he was good at blending in. For example, he was currently sitting outside by a tree in central park, mindlessly eating a sandwich while he draws inside his sketchbook. Occasionally, he would look around and take in his surroundings but for the most part, he was minding his own business - careful not to draw any unnecessary attention to himself. He had literally a handful of friends (mostly guys who served with him) but he was comfortable with solitude. His therapist told him that it wasn’t healthy to be as emotionally disconnected as he was but he just couldn’t find it in him convert back to being “normal” (whatever normal was). The wounds he had brought back (both physical and mental) with him from the war were still weighing him down whether he wanted to admit it or not. The PTSD was still very much present in his life where a loud thump or a large group of people would trigger anxiety or worse a knee jerk reaction out of him. A few months ago, he had tried to go to a club with his friends but ended up almost breaking a random stranger's arm when the man accidently bumped into Steve while he was off guard (it didn’t help that there was a loud bang from the bartender dropping a few glasses at the same time). He hadn’t meant to react that way but ever since he had joined the army, protecting himself had become second nature. Luckily for him, once the man found out he was a veteran, he dropped the charges. Needless to say, all his friends have been keeping a close eye on him since the incident. So now he was doing his best to avoid overly crowded places and people in general. 

Steve stared down at his phone and saw a miss call from Sam and a few unread messages from Sharon, the girl he had hooked up with occasionally for the past few months. What are you doing tonight? He quickly read the message and shook his head before deleting it. His life had become a cycle of isolation and random hook ups (not that he hooked up with many women but it was enough to make his mother roll in her grave). In his defense, he had been completely honest with all the girls he had hooked up with - making sure to tell them he didn’t want anything serious but eventually the girls would come right back wanting more. Something he wasn’t willing to give because between his fucked up childhood and the war - there wasn’t very much left to give. He was damaged goods - so royally fucked up. Casual sex was enough - no strings attached, just a means to take the edge off. It wasn’t how he had imagined his life would have turned out but it was what it was. He had a roof over his head, food on the table, and more money than he knew what to do with it (thanks to the army). It could have been worse which was why he wasn’t complaining. Still, he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing from his life. 

He reflected on his life for a few more minutes before decided he had spent enough time wasting time so he grabbed his things and hopped on his motorcycle back to his apartment. He unlocked the door to his lonely pathetic apartment. It was a pretty decent one bedroom apartment (compared to the beat down shack he grew up in) but it lacked any form of personality. All his furniture besides the couch and bed were bought from used furniture stores. He couldn’t find it in him to spend money on nice new furniture that actually coordinated with one another because he was barely home to begin with. He walked over to the fridge a pulled out a bottle of beer before settling on the couch. It wasn’t very long before he heard a knock on the door and he knew it had to be Sam. 

“It’s unlocked” he yelled from the couch, not moving from where he was sitting. When the door opened he noticed Sam carrying a big bag of chinese food in one hand and a case of corona in the other. “Hey Cap” Sam nodded his head slightly before taking a seat next to Steve. He opened a bottle of beer and tilted it slightly toward Steve. “Getting started without me.” Steve laughed and clinked his beer against Sam’s before finishing it in one big gulp. The smell coming from the chinese bag in front of him was enough to make his stomach rumble. He opened the bag and grabbed the first container on the top - not really caring what it was. They ate and drank in comfortable silence which was the good thing about being friends with Sam. Unlike his other friends, Sam was actually there with him in the battlefield. He witnessed the deaths and trauma just like Steve so there wasn’t a need to “talk” about it. They both went to the same therapist and was working on their issues on their own pace. The only difference was Sam was willing to make more of an effort to establishing a better social life than Steve. He dealt with his problems by making regular trips to the therapist and spending time with loved ones whereas Steve only hit the minimum required therapy sessions and liked spending his time alone by himself. 

“Did you ever call that blonde girl back?” Sam asked casually as he indulged in his chicken lo mein. 

“Sharon? No.” Steve shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Why not? She seemed like a decent enough girl. Cute.” Steve shrugged his shoulder at the comment. Steve thought she was pretty but pretty only went so far in his book. 

“Not my type.” The response caused Sam to roll his eyes. It was such a typical Steve Rogers answer. “You say that all the time man. I’m starting to worry that you’re going to end up alone forever. What is your type anyways? Maybe I could set you up on a blind date.” 

Steve almost choked on the eggroll he was eating. “No way. I’m fine with the way things are.” 

“I’m not putting down your hook ups man. I would be lying if I didn’t at least acknowledge that you always manage to hook up with the finest females in New York but eventually you’re going to need to do more. Besides, you’ve seemed to be seeing Sharon consistently - figured it was more than just a hook up”

There was that word, more. The idea of ever wanting more seemed insane the more he thought about it.“Why does everyone think I would eventually need more? I’m happy with the way my life is going” Lies. He wasn’t happy but he wasn’t exactly hating his life either. “I’m comfortable with the way things are” he added before finishing his food. Sam shook his head unconvinced.

“Because once all the hoes are gone, you’re gonna want something stable. It’s cool now that we’re young but we’re gonna be 30 years old in a few more years. Those one night stands regardless of how fine those women are, aren’t gonna be so appealing then.” Sam looked at Steve carefully to see his reaction. He knew he was walking on a fine line with this conversation but it was one that he needed to have with his friend. As happy as he was about Steve actually having sex (when he first met Steve, he was about as virgin can be. Awkward and unwilling to even interact with females) he knew better than anyone that it wasn’t in Steve’s character to not want something more stable. He could see the wheels turning inside Steve’s head which meant he was actually listening and considering what he was saying. It took a while for Steve to actually form a response but eventually he did.

“What if I’m still just as fucked up in a few years as I am now?” His voice was soft and his eyes were staring straight ahead - not willing to make any form of eye connection with his friend. This was the first time Sam has ever witnessed this much vulnerability from Steve.

“We’re all fucked up Cap. Comes with the territory” he put a soft hand on Steve’s shoulder for comfortable which caused Steve to nod his head. It’s not like he didn’t want to find a person to settle down with. He’s even thought about actually taking it to the next level with Sharon but everytime he tried, it just didn’t feel right. The sex was great but there wasn’t much else to it. Whenever they had conversations it felt forced, unnatural - mainly because she couldn’t really relate to his life experiences so they mostly talked about superficial topics like how there day went or the latest movies. It boils down to chemistry - every girl he’s met thus far have been been attractive but couldn’t hold a real conversation with him. It’s not like he could completely place the blame on those women when really it was partially his fault as well - he wasn’t the most easy person to talk since he was always guarded. The only time he’s ever found a girl who made his heart race was his ex high school sweetheart, Peggy Carter. She had been the only girl who challenged him. They had a great relationship for awhile until he enlisted in the army. When he was shipped off, she moved on (not that he could even blame her). Somewhere along the lines, the connection died off, the phone calls became shorter, and the letters came less and less - until one day he received the dear john letter. He couldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt because it did. That was the first and only time he had ever fallen in love and gotten his heart broken. Still, he was grateful for having the chance to experience something like that with a girl like her. Any girl since her have paled in comparison to Peggy and if he were to even consider jumping into a new relationship, she would have to make him feel even a fraction of what she did. The next woman he fell in love with had her work cut out for her because he came equipped with triple the baggage any man should be carrying. Even if he did find that special someone, he wouldn’t want to put her through the hell of being with him and all his issues. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t her mess to have to clean up. Bottom line, he didn’t want a person to save him. He could save himself (eventually anyways). 

“Are you going to Tony’s wedding tomorrow?” Sam asked casually - pulling Steve out of his thoughts. He glanced at his friend who was studying him carefully - worry evident in his eyes. “Uh, yeah.” Steve nodded in response quickly. Truth was he had forgotten all about it and was thankful for the reminder. “Should be fun” Steve added flatly. He grabbed another beer, hoping the buzz would kick in soon. All his thoughts were pushed out of mind. It was useless worrying about dating when he wasn’t planning on doing it. Wasted thoughts and wasted energy. This was his life and he wasn’t anticipating a change in lifestyle, at least anytime soon anyways.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

This was the biggest wedding reception Steve had ever been invited to - actually, it was the only wedding he’s ever been invited to. Since it was Tony Stark’s wedding, the number of people in attendance were as expected but Steve couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. There were so many people surrounding him that it almost felt suffocating - like the room was getting smaller and smaller by the second. Thankfully, there was an open bar only a few steps away from him. “What can I get you to drink sir?” The female bartender asked him with a smile. “Uh, jameson on the rocks please.” The bartender quickly got his drink ready and slid it to him, which he drank happily. Hopefully the alcohol would take of the edge and allow him to actually enjoy his time. He looked down and noticed a napkin with a phone number on it and looked up only to see the woman who served him his drink, smirking back at him. He gave an awkward smile back before taking his drink and the napkin (he didn’t want to hurt her feelings) and headed for the table he was assigned to sit at. As he slowly approached the table, he could see Sam and his date sitting along with Thor and Jane. He quickly took a seat and put on his best happy face. Blend in. 

“Hey guys.” Clint greeted his friends. “ Sorry I’m late.” He rushed to take a seat next to Darcy. “What a party” he exclaimed excitedly. 

Steve gave Clint a small smile and a nod. “Well this is Tony Stark’s wedding. You can’t expect anything but the best.” 

“If you think this is wild, you should have been there at his bachelor party. Mannn” Sam chuckled and gave Clint a fist pound. 

Steve noticed that Clint came alone and almost felt glad that he wasn’t the only loser who went dateless. It was almost pathetic to even feel relief since Clint was married. “Where is Laura?” 

“She’s at home with Lily and Cooper. She wasn’t feeling well anyways.” Clint shrugged as if it were no big deal. He looked at the group of friends and noticed that Steve was the only one sitting alone. “Where’s your date Cap?” 

“Steve wanted to be a party pooper and come alone” Sam teased lightly which earned him a small glare. 

“You’re not dating?” Jane sweetly asked which caused Thor to subtly shake his head as if to tell her this wasn’t the time nor place to bring up the subject. 

“I’m not.” Steve shook his head quickly. “It’s just me tonight.” He took a big gulp of his drink to finish it so he could have a reason to excuse himself from the group and head back to the bar. He preferred to get hit on by the bartender than sit and hear about how he should be putting himself out there more or have his friends try to invite him to more social events. It was the same old, same old every single time. He took a seat at the empty stool and waited for the bartender to take his order. 

“Back again? Want another jameson?” This time Alicia (at least that’s what the name on the nametag said) gave him a smirk and kinked her eyebrow at him. Steve was starting to wonder if he had made the right choice by choosing to get harassed. “Uh, something stronger” he mumbled as he quickly scanned the menu which was pretty extensive (leave it up to Stark to have practically every alcohol brand that was known to man at his wedding). He wasn’t a big drinker when it came to hard liquor and barely knew any of the names on the list.

“We’ll have a glass of vodka on the rocks” a husky female voice pulled him from his search. He turned and was surprised to find a gorgeous girl taking a seat next to him. She had long red hair that were in loose curls, beautiful green eyes, and she had a tiny little smirk on her face as she looked at him. Steve Rogers had seen plenty of pretty girls in his lifetime but this girl had definitely trumped all of them. “Uh, yeah. I’ll have that” he managed to say still caught off guard by the stranger. “Thanks I guess” he gave her a shy smile - not entirely sure of what else to say. 

“No problem” she shrugged before lowering her voice. “I thought you might have needed a little help getting out an uncomfortable situation.” She nodded her head in the direction of the bartender. “My name is Natasha. What’s yours?” As if right on cue, the bartender set the drinks down with a little more of an attitude than she did before. “I don’t think she’s happy I’m sitting here beside you.” She said sarcastically - loud enough Steve was sure Alicia heard.

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at her straight forwardness. “I’m Steve and thanks for that.” He took a sip of the drink and winced as the liquor burned going down his throat. “This is definitely stronger than what I was drinking earlier” He made a face as he took another sip, stifling the cough that threatened to come out.

“Well Russians always had been better drinkers.” She laughed before taking a big gulp of her drink without any problems. “So you’re not having a good time?”

Steve furrowed his eyebrow in confusion. “How’d you know?” 

“Well the only time someone wants something “stronger” is when the night isn’t going exactly how they had originally planned” The smirk on her face told him she was teasing him but there was a seriousness in her eyes. 

“Oh no. This is exactly how I thought the night would have gone. I’m not a fan of big events.” He shrugged “I’m just here to support a friend on his big day.” 

Natasha nodded her head to agree with him. It hadn’t been her plan to go to the wedding but she was dragged out by her friend last minute. She was glad she went though, considering she was sitting having a good conversation with a complete stranger - an incredibly hot stranger might she add. Steve was one of the most handsome men she had ever laid eyes on. He was big, muscular, and had the sharpest jawline god has ever created - and he had the bluest eyes she had ever seen.Yet there was something in the way he carried himself that told her he wasn’t aware of his looks. “Not a fan of big crowds?” she tilted her head slightly and looked him right in the eyes.

“Not really.” He shook his head “Iraq wasn’t exactly overly filled with people” he was surprised the words came out as easy as they did. He never brought up the fact that he was a soldier - tired of getting those pity looks. He was even more surprised she didn’t give him one of those looks. Instead she gave him a small smile - eyes free of any pity or judgment. “I kinda figured you were a soldier boy.”

“What gave it away?” He asked curiously. Steve had to admit there was something to Natasha that intrigued him. She didn’t act like the other girls who tried to get his attention. From what he could tell, she wasn’t trying to impress him at all and that was even more refreshing. He could see her ponder her answer a bit before speaking as if she were debating her answer. 

“It’s the way you walk and carry yourself. And you have this extreme brooding face but I’m sure the military couldn’t take credit for that, can they?” She kinked her eyebrow at him flirtatiously. Steve had to laugh at her words. This woman was apparently incredibly perceptive. 

“You’re not the first person to tell me that” he chuckled softly before finishing his drink. He had the urge to flirt back but he’s always been terrible at it. The skinny boy from his earlier years always seem to ingrained into his brain so he was never confident enough to efficiently flirt. “So uh, what’s a girl like you doing alone at the wedding?” He wanted to call her beautiful but the nerves got the best of him so he decided against it.

“I could be asking you the same thing.” She raised her eyebrow at him as if she were challenging him. She waited a few seconds to see if he would have a witty reply before continuing - she could see how flustered he was getting, a tiny blush on his face that he was failing to hide. “But technically I’m not alone. I came with my friend. I’m just not sure where he is right now.” 

Steve nodded his head wondering if friend was code word for friends with benefits. He had trouble believing that a girl that gorgeous could be single - or at least had someone. As if right on cue, Clint showed up behind them out of nowhere. “Oh there you are Tasha…” He looked at Steve with a shocked expression. “I see you’ve met my friend Steve. I thought you bounced Cap.”

Natasha smiled at Clint before glancing at the surprised look on Steve’s face (she was surprised too but she hid it well) at the revelation that they had a mutual friend and didn’t even know. “I didn’t know you knew Barton here.” She nudged playfully at Clint. “How come I’ve never met you before tonight?” 

“Cap doesn’t go out much.” Clint cut in teasingly before turning serious. “I’ve got to get going. It’s getting late and from what Laura is telling me, Coop doesn’t want to go to bed until I’m home.” 

“Alright” Natasha nodded understandingly. She was amazed at the transformation Clint had gone through ever since he had met Laura. Before her, Clint was a notorious playboy party animal - always going out and never taking a girl seriously. It was nice to see him evolve into a man. “It was nice meeting you Steve.” She gave him a friendly smile and left with Clint after goodbyes were exchanged. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed that their conversation was cut short as he watched her walk away. It wasn’t until now that he realized he was enjoying her presence. He also couldn’t help but check her body out as she left. His mother raised him to be respectful toward women but the man in him couldn’t help it. The woman was stunning. Not only did she have a gorgeous face, her body was amazing. Not to mention the incredible ass (her boobs were amazing but ultimately he was an ass man) and nice legs she had. He shook his head, shaking the thoughts away. It wasn’t right for him to check her out. The chances of him actually seeing her again were slim to none. One, he didn’t get her number and he wasn’t going to be that guy who asked for her number through other people - that just wasn’t going to happen. And two, even if he did get her number (which he wasn’t going to) he knew there was no chance he would even have a shot with a girl like her. She was too out of his league. A pretty girl with a personality (from what he could tell) to match. He ordered another drink and deemed whatever he was feeling for her lust. It couldn’t be more than that. They barely had a conversation. She was just easy to talk to - like any stranger who didn’t know a thing about you would have been. It must be the drink getting to him because he never put too much thought into a girl - especially one he had just met. He shrugged it off and downed his drink before deciding to go home and sleep it off. Tomorrow he would go back to his normal routine. Sleep, school, enjoy his alone time, and repeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and reviews are welcomed


	3. Chapter 3

The sun peaked through the blinds and woke Steve up from his sleep. Groggy and confused he opened his eyes and looked around the room. The last memory he had from last night’s event was taking a few shots with Tony to further celebrate his wedding day - he didn’t even remember driving or catching a ride home. Wherever he was now was definitely not his apartment. He felt a body stir next to him and put an arm around his waist. He looked over to the person and panic began to fill his body. Sharon. God. How in the world did he end up here with her - in her bed - naked (to further complicate the situation). This wasn’t supposed to happen - he was supposed to be avoiding her. Steve glanced down relieved to see she was still in deep sleep. He slowly removed her arm, careful to not wake her up and rushed to grab his scattered clothes and personal belongings from the floor. Slowly creeping out of the room, making sure to close the door ever so quietly to not wake the blonde girl up - he clumsily tossed on his clothes and shoes and practically ran. He speed walked up a few blocks before slowly down. No matter how much he tried to piece together what happened last night, he just couldn’t remember and it bothered him. Judging by the hangover he was sporting and the slight burn of scratches on his back, he was pretty sure it had been a great night for him (even though he couldn’t remember a thing). 

His pounding head was a reminder of why he rarely ever partied with Tony. Partying with Tony was like partying with Hades, the God of the underworld. While one may have fun during the moment, the next day felt like death - hence the nickname. He could see passing strangers giving him dirty looks which he couldn’t blame them since he was ultimately doing the walk of shame all the way back to his apartment - he was 100% positive he had looked the way he felt. Thankfully, Sharon didn’t live too far from Steve and he had gotten used to leaving her apartment (he never hooked up in his apartment because he didn’t want the random girls showing up unexpectedly) before she had woken up. He wasted no time opening the door to his apartment, taking off his clothes, and then immediately diving onto his bed for a quick power nap. Just as he felt himself dozing off, his phone had rang loudly - causing him to groan in frustration. He answered his phone without bothering to look at the caller id. 

“Hello” he mumbled in annoyance, hoping that whoever was on the other line would take the hint and politely tell him they would call him back later.

“Hey Cap.” Sam’s voice was loud and full of energy. How is it that his friend was perfectly fine while he was on the verge of dying from the massive headache. 

“Keep it down. My head feels like it’s about to explode” He could hear Sam laugh at his comment. 

“My bad man. Rest up. Don’t forget everyone is going out for round two tonight.” 

Steve scrunched his face in confusion. “Round two? Count me out.” 

“Oh no. It was your idea to have the group come out tonight. You even called Clint and made him promise to join us. You were an animal last night man. I didn’t even know you could party like that anymore.” Steve rolled his eyes and groaned in frustration. Now that he thought about it, he could vaguely remember being the one to orchestrate the brilliant plan. There was no way he could back out now. 

“Okay” he sighed in defeat. “I’m going to take a nap before we head out. Where did I say we were going?” 

“Man, you don’t remember anything do you?” Sam didn’t wait for Steve to respond before continuing. “We’re all going to Trinity. I’ll come pick you up at 10:00.” 

Steve nodded his head with his eyes closed even though he knew Sam couldn’t see. As soon as he hung up the phone, he finished the unopened water bottle sitting on his nightstand and closed his eyes - he needed all the energy he could get to be able to follow through with his stupid drunken commitment. 

 

That nap had done wonders for Steve - he was feeling rejuvenated and surprisingly in the mood for a good time. He was wearing dark jeans and a white button down that was perfectly fitted to show off his muscular physique which earned him a few flirtatious smirks from almost every girl he had passed. Him and Sam grabbed some drinks from the bar before carefully navigating through the crowd to find their friends. When they found them, Steve noticed Natasha standing next to Clint. He hadn’t expected her to see her ever again.

“Hey” he said with a smile when he got close enough for her to hear.

“Hey yourself.” She smiled back. 

“Hey Cap.” Clint gave him one of those manly hugs. His smile faded immediately when he saw a glimpse of Sharon. “Don’t look now but it looks like we have trouble at 12 o clock”. Clint put on his best fake smile which only caused Natasha and Steve to both be confused. She followed his gaze and saw a blonde girl walking toward them. 

“Hey Steve” the girl said with a sweet smile before pulling a hesitant Steve in for a hug. Natasha could see the uncomfortable look on Steve’s face that he tried to hide but failed in doing so - it didn’t matter because the girl seemed to be oblivious anyways - that or she just didn’t care.

“H-hey Sharon. What are you doing here?” 

“I’m out with a few of my girlfriends. What are you doing here?”

Natasha could see how tense and nervous Steve was acting and started to feel bad for the guy. She didn’t know what was going on between the pair but whatever it was was obviously was one sided. She’s been in more than enough awkward situations to know how it felt to be in his shoes. 

“Hey sweetie. Who’s your friend.” Natasha wrapped her arms affectionately around his waist with a smile. She could see the confusion on his face but it quickly disappeared once he finally caught onto what she was doing. “Uh, this is my friend Sharon” he hesitated for a few seconds before adding a “babe” as if it made his lack of acting skills anymore convincing. She wanted to roll her eyes but forced herself not to. She could see everyone’s amused expression in the corner of her eye but remained in character. “It’s very nice to meet you Sharon.” 

“It’s nice to meet you too…” 

“My name is Natasha.” 

“Natasha” Sharon forced a smile and looked at Steve then back at Natasha as if unconvinced that the two were together. Natasha could sense her suspicions so she hurried and placed a tiny peck on the corner of Steve’s lips. “Well I should go. It was nice meeting you Natasha. Bye Steve.” 

Steve let out a sigh of relief once Sharon was out of sight and everyone started to bust out laughing. 

“Bravo performance Natasha.” Tony clapped his hands, impressed. It took a few minutes of teasing for everyone to quickly go back to partying - leaving only Steve and Natasha.

“Thanks for saving me… Again.” Steve said sheepishly. “Let me buy you a drink to thank you.” Natasha nodded her head and followed him to the bar. “Let me guess… Vodka?” He asked with a little tiny grin on his face.

“You know me so well.” She chuckled. He ordered her drink and handed it to her. “Why do I get a feeling you always get yourself into these sticky female situations?” She raised her eyebrow in curiosity. 

“It doesn’t happen to often.” He shrugged nonchalantly which only confirmed her suspicions that Steve was not aware of how good looking he was. 

“It’s kinda cute.” She smirked at him.

“What is?”

“You’re completely oblivious to how handsome you are” Her straightforward comment caused him to blush. “No vodka tonight?” She nodded her head toward the cup in his hand that housed a rum and coke. 

“Oh no. Vodka is what got me in this situation to begin with” he chuckled.

“So what is the story with the blondie?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.” She said casually with a slight shrug. “Come on. I know the best little diner near here.” She hopped off the seat and grabbed his hand leading him out the club before letting him respond. 

 

They ended up walking to a cute little dinner a few blocks away from the club. It was pretty late so they were seated immediately since there were barely anyone there. The staff seemed to have recognized Natasha which meant she came here pretty often. 

“What can I get you two?” An older lady asked nicely with a kind smile on her face. 

“I’ll have a slice of the apple pie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream” Natasha responded quickly. She’s been there enough times and have become very familiar with what was good there. She can see Steve furrow his eyebrows as he scanned over the menu. “I guess I’ll have the same.” The waitress took down their orders and grabbed the menus before walking off. It only took her a few minutes to come back with their order. Natasha took a bite out of her pie before moaning in satisfaction. “This is so good.”

She watched as Steve nod his head in agreement. “It is pretty good.” 

“So are you going to me this long story.” 

Steve looked down at his plate - avoiding her gaze. There was something about Natasha that made him nervous. It was ridiculous that he cared so much about her opinion when he barely even knew her. Still, he didn’t want her to write him off as a player because he wasn’t. Natasha sensing his hesitation reached for his hand, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “I’m not going to judge you Steve.” There was so much genuinity in her voice that gave him the strength to continue. 

“It’s complicated. She’s not my girlfriend. We’re not even really friends. We just…” His words trailed off a bit so he could find the appropriate word to describe his situation. 

“Sleep together.” Natasha filled in the sentence for him and he nodded. “That’s pretty normal Steve.” She could tell that it wasn’t a normal thing for him since he had a look of guilt on his face. 

“I’m not exactly proud of it though.” Steve confessed. 

“Well do you like the sex at least?” Natasha asked curiously. She watched as he furrowed his eyebrows again and came up with the conclusion that Steve is a natural born brooder. 

“It’s not that I don’t like the sex. Sex is sex.” He shrugged. “It’s just as of lately, everyone has been telling me that it might be time to actually look for more.” 

“Well do you want more?” 

“Not really” She wasn’t convinced by his answer and gave him a look that told him so. “I don’t want a relationship.”

“It’s okay to not be ready to be in a relationship. I’m in the same boat.” She shrugged not entirely sure why this was eating him up alive inside. “I just got out of a long term relationship not too long ago.” 

“I just feel like I’m never going to be ready” he said softly with a sad expression on his face. He looked into her eyes and all she could see was a broken man - lost and lonely. She knew they didn’t know each other well enough talk about anything too deep but from what she can tell, he wasn’t one to talk about his issues to anybody. “Why do you feel like that?” She grabbed his hand once again. 

“I had a rough past. Then I joined the war. It just seems like I have too much baggage - more than anyone should.” He sighed. He was surprised to even being spilling his guts to her right now. For whatever reason, it was easy to talk to her. She didn’t look at him like he was a bruised puppy. She just listened and offered support. She nodded her head with a serious look on her face. “Everyone has a rough past. Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to find someone.”

“Don’t need someone to save me” he shook his head.

“I didn’t say you needed someone to save you” she clarified herself. “You just need someone to stand by you while you save yourself.” They stared at each other for a while neither one saying another word. Natasha was the one to break the stare and give him a smile. 

“How old are you?” He cleared his throat trying to lighten to intensity. “Because you’re pretty wise.” He added lamely. He wanted to kick himself as soon as he said it. Out of all the things he could have said. 

“I’m 25 and it’s because I’m a girl” she smirked at him. He smiled back and realized how pretty she really was. The more he thought about it the more he wanted to get to know her better - be her friend. 

“Hey Nat.” She smiled at the nickname. “I’d really like it if we became friends.” 

“I thought we already are.” She kinked her eyebrow teasingly. “I’d like that too” 

“Friends?” He lifted his water up and she followed with a laugh. “Friends” they clinked their cups together as if to solidify their new friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU stories are harder than I thought especially when trying to make sure they aren't OC. Hopefully I've done a decent effort in making sure they stay in character. Please leave reviews.


	4. Chapter 4

The idea of staying in one place for too long never sat well with Natasha. The concept of putting down roots somewhere was never an interest of hers; it wasn’t like she had much of a reason to. Staying somewhere too long only meant that she would compromise her beliefs on not getting too attached; yet here she was, living in New York for almost two years. At first, she had only anticipated living there for a few months or at least until the dust had settled but eventually months had turned into a year and before she knew it, she was reupping her lease for another year. In contrast to where she lived before, New York made it easy to blend in; you didn’t stand out unless you absolutely wanted to which was perfect for Natasha. Prior to New York, she was living in California with an ex boyfriend of 5 years. Although she hated the people of Orange County, she loved Ivan. In the beginning stages of their relationship, Ivan was a diamond in the rough - so different than any other man she had encountered. He made her laugh and was fully devoted to making sure she was happy (at least she thought so). After the first year together, he started to slowly change. They argued on just about everything. The once gentle man had become controlling and aggressive which at the time, she shrugged off as him caring for her even if he hit her on numerous occasions. Like most women, Natasha had fallen so hard for him that she believed every word he said when he blamed her for the problems in their relationship. It wasn’t until toward the end of the relationship that she had found out about his multiple affairs - dating back to the earlier months of their relationship. It was difficult to learn that the man she once thought so highly of was just as much as a dog as every other man. It’s crazy how much you think you know someone and they turn out to be the exact opposite. She took this heartbreak as karma. Before Ivan, Natasha had been promiscuous. She dated multiple guys (sometimes at the same time) because she never truly believed any man was worth it.

The only reason she chose to come to New York was because of Clint and Laura. Clint had the ability to always know when something was wrong with Natasha even though she didn’t openly tell him about her relationship issues; somehow he just knew. He had offered to let her stay with him which she declined immediately but then Laura got on the phone and practically gave her no other option. For such a sweet and kind woman, she could be rather convincing. At the end of the day, she was glad she took them up on that offer. The Bartons were the closest thing to a real family she had. Her parents passed away when she was young so she spent most of her life through the foster care system which was where she had met Clint. He was always protective of her and they were practically inseparable - he was like the annoying older brother she never wanted. Back then, he was a bit rough around the edges but once he met Laura, she had transformed him into the great man he was today. Natasha and Laura clicked from the moment they met; she gave off such a positive aura that made it almost impossible to not be immediately drawn in which was odd in itself since Natasha didn’t have many friends. Natasha was lucky to have been able to be apart of such a welcoming family such as the Bartons; which was why she was there at there house for Taco Tuesday.

It had become a tradition for Natasha to have dinner at least once a week with the Barton family - Lila and Cooper made her pinky promise which she gladly did. Mundane activities such as dinner and game night were Natasha’s sweet spots (not that she would admit it) since she never had the opportunity herself. Besides, she loved the kids with every fiber of her being - words couldn’t even beginning describe the love she had for Lila and Cooper. They had to be the best little people on this planet; so well behaved and full of life - not to much little kids are hilariously honest. It made her wonder if there was a time she too was as free as the kids were. As if right on cue, the front screen door opened abruptly with the sounds of small feet running toward the kitchen.

“Auntie Nat!” The two small children yelled as they bombarded her with hugs. 

“Hey there little monsters.” She picked up Lila and gave her a tight squeeze and rustled Cooper’s hair (since he said he was getting too old to be picked up). She placed the little girl down gently so the children could give their mom the same affection.

“Okay okay. Dinner is going to be ready soon. Go in the living room and do some of your homework.” Laura gave both of the children a kiss before pushing them out of the kitchen. She knew from past experience that having Lila and Cooper in the room only created a big mess. Normally, she would at least allow them to assist in small tasks like washing the vegetables or adding a pinch of salt but she was far too pregnant to handle that much effort right now. With the first two kids, her pregnancy had been fairly easily; nothing out of the ordinary besides the usual morning sickness. However, this third child seem to be giving her much more trouble. She was nauseous all the time - unable to keep much food down. On top of that, she wasn’t getting much sleep either with the uncomfortable constant kicks the baby was giving her - the child had its father’s antsy tendencies. Despite being sick all the time, Laura never complained. Anyone else might have not been able to tell but Natasha could see right through the supermom facade. 

“Hey Laura, go have a seat. I can finish the rest up.” Natasha knew better than to think the woman would just listen to her without protest - she just wasn’t wired that way. 

“Nonsense. I’m perfectly fine” Laura waved it off with a head shake. 

Natasha chuckled knowing that the topic was not open for negotiation. She took a quick glance at Lila and Cooper quietly doing homework and smiled softly. “You make some cute kids… Who would have thought Clint was capable of that” she teased lightly before strolling over to the cupboard to grab plates to set the table. 

“Thanks. Those kids are just lucky they get their good looks from me” Laura joked back with a chuckle.

“I can’t wait to see what little Natasha is going to look like.. How’s she doing anyways” She set the plates down in their spots and then walked over to Laura to place her hand over the pregnant woman’s belly and was immediately greeted with a soft kick. 

“She’s… Nathaniel” Laura gave Natasha an apologetic look. Natasha’s smile quickly faded as she put on her straight face (pretending to be angry) and lowering her head so she was face to face with the belly. “Traitor.” Of course she didn’t care what the gender of the baby was; she was going to love her nephew regardless but she had hoped for another niece simply because Clint had promised to name the child after her if it were a girl. Suddenly the front door opened, catching both women’s attention. It was far too early for it to be Clint. It didn’t take long before they could hear the kids’ excitement. “Uncle Steve. Uncle Steve!” The kids both yelled unable to contain their enthusiasm. It took him a few minutes to be able to break free of the kids’ and actually make it into the kitchen. He stopped immediately when his eyes landed on Natasha, his mouth slightly opened with surprised. Even though she was caught off guard by his presence, she hid it behind a smirk. 

“Hey stranger. Are you just going to stand over there staring or are you going to give me a hug?” She teased him and noticed the blush that was creeping across his cheeks. It had been a little over a week since they had made the declaration to be friends. Since then, they had exchanged texts and calls nonstop and even spent time together if their schedules permitted them to. 

“Uh yeah.” He quickly wiped the dumb look on his face and went over to give her a hug. The were unaware of the looks Laura was giving them until she had cleared her throat to let them know that she was still in the room. “Oh hey Laura. I brought that sour cream you asked me to get.” He quickly walked over and placed the tub of sour cream on the table before giving Laura a quick hug. He excused himself to go back into the living room to hang out with Cooper and Lila. Laura waited til Steve was out of sight before her interrogation. Clearly she had missed something and she was about to get to the bottom of it.

“So you know know Steve huh?” The amusement in Laura’s voice didn’t go unnoticed by Natasha but she ignored it. 

“Yep, met at Tony’s wedding.” Natasha shrugged nonchalantly. She stopped in the middle of what she was doing when she saw the mischievous smirk on Laura’s face. “What?”

“Steve’s cute” Laura tried to play it off casually with a shrug - subtlety never being her strong suit. 

Natasha was unable to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She could see the matchmaker Laura start to come out of hiding. “We’re just friends” she used the tone that let Laura know she was not about to have this conversation even though it didn’t stop her from continuing. 

“So you don’t think he’s cute?”

“He is” Natasha answered quickly before realizing she had fallen for the bait that opened the door to the conversation she was trying so hard to avoid. “Steve is a good looking man but we’re friends.”

“Mmhm” Laura said with a smirk on her face. 

“Despite popular beliefs, two people can be just friends.” The mere thought of being in another relationship made her sick to her stomach; to be that vulnerable again was not an option. It had nothing to do with Steve; as a matter of fact there was attraction there. She found him handsome and enjoyed his presence but it didn’t mean she wanted to be with him. A friend was what she needed in her life right now - not boyfriend drama. 

“All I’m saying is Steve is a good guy.” Laura plated the food and set them on the dining room table. Natasha had to admit she admired the pregnant woman’s impeccable timing. As soon as the food was on the table, Clint had walked through the front door. It never failed. He greeted everyone before making his way to his wife. 

“Hey sweetie” Clint gave her a kiss on the lips before bending down to kiss her belly. “Hey baby” he cooed at her belly admirably. “Dinner smells great. Must mean Natasha didn’t have any parts in the kitchen” he teased. 

“Don’t quit your day job Barton. Comedy isn’t exactly your strong suit.” Natasha smirked. 

Laura shook her head at the two’s banter.“Dinner’s ready” she yelled out into the living to let Steve and the kids know that it was time to eat. It didn’t take very long for everyone to be seated at the table. 

“The food is amazing” Steve praised Laura and thanked her for having him over. 

“I can’t take all the credit. Natasha did most of the work”

Natasha stared at Laura in disbelief. Thankfully, Steve hadn’t noticed the look Laura had given them. “Laura’s just being humble” she countered. 

“Well either way, these are the best tacos I’ve ever had.” He moaned as he took a bite of his taco. “You’re a lucky man Clint.” 

“Mommy does make the best tacos” Lila added with a nod of approval. 

“Ditto” Cooper added. 

“I agree.” Clint nodded his head with a proud smile on his face as he looked at his wife. “Honey, did the babysitter ever confirm she could watch the kids after school tomorrow?”

“Oh my god!” Laura’s eyes widen. “I completely forgot to call her today.” She started to ramble a bit before a light went off in her head. “Steve could you do us a favor and babysit the kids tomorrow?”

“Yes! Please Uncle Steve” the kids yelled in unison. They loved spending time with him since he always indulged in their games and answered all their questions. 

“I never watched children by myself before” Steve answered with his brows furrowed. He didn’t have any siblings so he never had the opportunity to ever babysit before - the army sure didn’t have babies lined up to be watched. It was one thing to spend time with the kids but it was another to be alone and responsible for these tiny people. What if something went wrong and their parents weren’t around to fix it? This was unfamiliar territory for him. Though the excitement in the kids made it hard for him to refuse such an offer. 

“Oh I’m sure Natasha would love to help you. Isn’t that right Nat?” Laura added with much enthusiasm that caused Natasha to glare at her discreetly. It’s not that she had a problem with helping Steve but it was the hidden agenda Laura was trying to implement that bothered her. 

“I don’t think we need two people to watc-” Clint began to say before his wife kicked him under the table to shut him up. He gave her a confused look but knew better than to get in the way with whatever she was planning. Whatever it was, he decided he didn’t want to know. 

“Coop and Lila, wouldn’t you love it if Uncle Steve and Auntie Nat spend the afternoon with you guys tomorrow?” And there it was. Laura had stooped low enough to bring in the niece and nephew card knowing damn well she couldn’t refuse the kids. 

“Please Auntie Nat” Lila said with a slight pout in her lip, giving her those adorable puppy dog eyes.

“Of course sweetie” she gave the girl a smile. “Guess we’re babysitting tomorrow Rogers.” She could see he was still uncomfortable with the idea of babysitting so she placed her hand over his and gave it a small squeeze to reassure him. “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you everything you need to know about these little rugrats.” 

He nodded his head still unsure but put a smile on his face. “Okay.”

Meanwhile Clint had leaned over to whisper in Laura’s ear to find out what was going on. “So why do we need two people to babysit our children” 

Laura simply shook her head at her husband’s cluelessness. Men were so dense sometimes. “Just trust me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still trying to find the direction I want to take this story. I've been kind of distracted with rewatching Grey's anatomy :(. However, I would love some feedback on how you guys are liking this story so far.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I've been posting on FF and not on here. Please leave me reviews

To say Steve was a bit nervous was an understatement. He spent the morning at the toy story, picking up various items like a football (Cooper's old one had a hole in it), some arts and crafts stuff, and a few board games; apparently the most popular game on the market is the pie in the face game at least according to the sales lady who helped him pick out some of the items. After that, he made a trip to the grocery store to grab some chips, candy, and juice. Kids liked that sort of stuff right? He knew he was being a little bit overboard; it's not like he never spent an afternoon with the kids before even though at least one of the parents were there. Besides, Natasha would be there to help him. After all she had promised to and she was great with the little kids from what he saw last night.

He ended up going to the Barton's house a little early so he can set up his little "fun day with Uncle Steve" activities and scout the kitchen for food in case they got hungry which was smart because there was only stuff to make sandwiches;  
sandwiches didn't exactly spell fun. He thanked his lucky stars that Laura was not there to witness the amount of junk he bought for the kiddos. The last time he had brought the kids a big bag of the assorted chocolates for halloween, he got scolded for it. The truth was, he wanted to uphold his "favorite uncle" status - one day of junk food wouldn't hurt; what Momma and Papa Barton didn't know wouldn't hurt them. Aside from being nervous, he felt eager for his quality time with the little ones. There was something about being around children that always took his mind off of his own messed up life. He enjoyed how innocent children were; in a world full of evil and hate, it was refreshing to be around innocence. Sometimes it seemed like he was better at interacting with kids than he was with adults.

After half an hour, everything was put into place the way he wanted it to be and he had to say he was pretty proud. There wasn't any food (beside the sandwiches) for them so he decided to order whatever Natasha and the kids wanted to eat when they crossed that bridge. He took a quick glance out the window and saw Natasha stepping out of corvette (he wasn't surprised. He didn't peg her for a sedan type of girl anyways) and immediately took notice of how beautiful she looked today. She wore a simple white v neck shirt and dark skinny leg jeans that hugged her in all the right places. It was incredible how she made simple, sexy. When she got closer to the door, he quickly ran over to the couch and took a seat to make it look like he wasn't just creepily staring at her which was a fail since he was greeted with a smug grin when she opened the door. She took a look around and noticed the set up with a raised eyebrow.

"You did all this?"

"I uh, wanted to come prepared" He blushed sheepishly and stood up to show her the rest of what he spent his money on. Now that they were standing in the kitchen, he had to admit he overdone it - snacks were everywhere. He turned to see her stifle a laugh.

"No wonder the kids love their uncle Steve" she teased. "If they get a sugar high, they are your problem Rogers."

"No problem." He raised his hands in surrender. He wasn't sure where the surge of confidence came from but the words came out before he had to actually process what he was about to say. "I guess me and the kids will just have to eat all of this by ourselves." He sighed dramatically pointing to the small strawberry cheesecake knowing that Natasha absolutely loved cheesecake. Then he picked up the whip cream just to add to his teasing. "And this. But I think we could manage that." he said with a shrug. He had that smirk on his face that Natasha had deemed his "I'm a little shit" smirk. To a stranger, Steve was a serious, broody man but she had come to learn he was a smart ass and a complete dork when he wanted to be. His comment referring to the whip cream sent millions of dirty inappropriate thoughts through her head (she couldn't help that she had a dirty mind) which gave her a few ideas on how to make the man squirm. He didn't know it yet but Natasha was a master in the art of being a tease; she blamed it on her flirtatious nature.

"If I didn't know better" her voice trailed off as she seductively traced a finger over his chest. She could feel his heart race against her fingertips which only made her enjoy this even more. "I would have thought you bought this just for me. Did you buy it for me Steve" His adam's apple bob and his face became slightly flushed before she stepped back with her own smirk. If he wanted to play, she would too.

"I - I didn't buy the cheesecake for you. I mean uh I know you like cheesecake and I happened to pick up the strawberry one but not because you told me that strawberry was your favorite." He started to ramble on and stutter a bit. His face was getting redder and redder by the minute. For a man that was always getting hit on by women, he sure sucked at talking to them; she wondered if it was he was like this with all women or if it was reserved just for her. Oddly enough, she wasn't turned off by his awkward tendencies. Instead she found it pretty darn cute a big man like Steve would fall apart at her very presence. It made flirting with him much more enjoyable.

"I'm kidding" she finally said with a laugh. Moments later, the front door opened with amazed children. Both Natasha and Steve went out to the living room and saw how wide eyed the children were; completely intrigued by all the new toys - it was like Christmas morning for them.

"Hey a new football" Cooper exclaimed with excitement. He picked it up immediately tossing it air and catching it.

"Frozen!" Lila screamed with even more enthusiasm.

Steve smiled proudly, glad to see smiles on both of the little kids' faces. He made a mental note to remember to go back to that sales lady for help with Christmas gift ideas when the time comes.

"Better thank your Uncle Steve for being so nice and buying all of these new toys for you guys" Natasha said with a smile of her own. She was no stranger to spoiling the kids herself. She knew how tempting it was to splurge on the little brats. She'd done that quite frequently before she had moved to New York as a way to make up for her lack of presence. Now that she lived close, she slowed down on the spending (mainly because Laura made it clear she didn't want the kids to become spoiled). Instead of buying the kids material things, she opted to spend her money by taking the kids out: bowling, aquariums/zoos, arcades, etc. Laura couldn't oppose to that since technically Natasha was spending quality time with the children and not mindlessly throwing money at them. It was a win win for everyone.

"Thank you Uncle Steve" the kids both yelled out at the same time.

"It's no problem really. I'm just glad you guys like all of this." He gave them both a hug before turning his focus back on Natasha. "Thank you for being here to help me babysit for my first time. You didn't have to do it but I really appreciate it."

"It's really no problem Steve. I love spending time with the kids" she shrugged. "Besides, spending time with you doesn't suck too bad" He chuckled and nudged her side playfully which she nudged back in return. They were so busy messing with each other that they didn't notice the Lila until she tugged on their arms softly.

"Can we please do arts and crafts first?" Lila gave her best puppy dog eyes and giving her lips an extra pout. "Please Uncle Steve" Natasha tried her hardest to hide the amusement from her face. She can see Steve slowly turn into putty; the smile of adoration only confirmed that Lila had him wrapped around her finger. "Of course sweetie" he picked up the little girl and walked her to the drawing station. "What do you want to do?"

"Can you draw me a picture"

"What do you want me to draw?"

"A princess with a pretty dress." She exclaimed in excitement when Steve nodded his head and began to draw. Natasha took a seat and watched the two interact. Cooper was too busy playing with minecraft on his ipad to be bothered with arts and crafts. There was such determination and focus on Steve's face as he drew so Natasha concluded that whatever he was working on was definitely more than simple stick figures. Leave it up to her and she would have simply printed out coloring pages to avoid showcasing her lack of artistic skills. It didn't take him very long before he declared that he was finished and handed it to the little girl.

"It's so beautiful. It kind of looks like Auntie Nat!" The little hurried to Natasha's side and waved the picture in front of her face for her to look at it. Natasha could see in the corner of her eye, Steve look away shying, probably to hide the blush on his face. Lila wasn't lying when she said the drawing was pretty. She could also see a faint resemblance between herself and the princess; the loose curls and facial details were a big giveaway.

"I didn't know you could draw." She kinked her eyebrow at him before handing the picture back for Lila to color it in.

"I drew a lot when I was a kid and in the military" he shuffled a little in his seat uncomfortably. Barely anyone knew he had the ability to draw; not that he was ashamed because he wasn't - it was more of a personal hobby. "It helps me stay in the present" he added.

She nodded her head understandingly. She had a habit of living in the past or worrying about the future too. It was a habit she was still trying to work on. Steve could see that she genuinely understood him and was thankful she didn't press the issue; something he appreciated about her. He cleared his throat in attempts to change the subject so they wouldn't fall into awkward silence.

"So… anyone hungry? Cause I've got plenty of snacks" he clapped his hands together to show his enthusiasm and both kids jumped out of their seats excitedly.

A few hours later

"You just had to buy the whole candy aisle huh?" Natasha groaned in exhaustion before collapsing on the couch.

"I didn't know they had that much energy" he mumbled in response, already resting on the couch. "I'll make a mental note never to buy candy for them ever again"

Natasha laughed and shook her head. "It's okay. At least they both will sleep good tonight. The kids are happy and the house is clean. I'd say we did a pretty good job considering this was your first day on the job." She lifted her hand to give him a fist pump of accomplishment.

Both kids were finishing up with their nightly routine; taking a bath, brushing their teeth, and getting into their pjs. They could hear Lila calling for both of them from upstairs.

"Duty calls" he sighed and got off the couch. "Aren't you coming?"

"I'm comfortable" Natasha pouted playfully with no intentions of getting up.

"Oh no. You're coming." Steve picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and proceeded to walk up the stairs.

"Put me down!" Natasha laughed, trying to escape but it was no point. Steve was so much bigger than her and stronger that her kicks and punches didn't even effect him. It wasn't until they made it into Lila's room that he threw her on the bed softly and began to tickle her.

"S-s-s-stop!" Natasha protested between her fit of giggles.

"Nope"

"Are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?" Lila's voice broke them out of their tickle fight. If anyone else would have walked in on them, they would have definitely questioned the compromising position they were both in. Steve quickly jumped  
off of Natasha with his face beet red.

"No honey. We're just friends. Come lay down. It's bedtime" Natasha patted the bed urging the little girl come.

"Are you sure? Because you guys have been giving each other looks all day. The only thing you don't do that mom and dad do is kiss" she scrunched her face in disgust when she comfortably laid in her bed.

"Uh, I'm going to go check in on Cooper" Steve said, rushing out of the room to avoid the child's question which made Natasha roll her eyes. Leave it to her to do the hard work.

"We're friends." Natasha said once again as she tucked the little girl in bed.

A minute later she could hear Cooper yell "He said they're just friends" from the other room which caused Natasha to chuckle. These little kids are something else.

"Good night princess" Natasha kissed the little girl's forehead and quickly shut the door behind her. Then she walked downstairs to find Steve already on the couch.

"I don't know why they think we're dating" Steve said with a laugh. "Where would they get that idea?"

"Who knows" Natasha shrugged even though she's more than sure Laura had planted that little idea in their heads. "I must admit, we make a pretty good team" she added with a soft smile.

Steve nodded his head to agree. "I think this friends arrangement is the best idea I've ever had." He leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes.

"Speak for yourself. I got con'd into babysitting on a beautiful day" she teased before falling onto the couch dramatically. She could see a smile plastered onto his face and found it incredibly adorable.

"How can I make it up to you?" He peeked an eye open to look at her.

"Hmm" she pretended to think hard.

"How about an "I owe you"" Steve proposed which caused Natasha to kink her eyebrow at him.

"Deal" she stuck her hand out to shake his hand. "You don't know what you got yourself into soldier"

"I'm ready for whatever you got planned" he said looking her right in the eyes as if to challenge her. "As long as I get to spend time with you" he shrugged. She smiled at his words. She had to admit it was nice spending time with him; easy and natural. He had a certain humility quality trait to him that was rare, admirable, and enticing. On the outside, he was the exact definition of a manly man - big, built, and gorgeous. He was a specimen (god she hated that word but that's what he was) but he was also a very down to earth man with a great sense of humor. Most men put on a front to seem more than they were but that seemed almost impossible for him; like he couldn't be anyone else but himself. There was such honesty in the way he carried himself that made him more appealing to her but she quickly brushed those thoughts away. Little did she know, he was having the same strange feelings as she was which he wrote off as a lust factor (she was a pretty girl, it was normal to be attracted to her physically). Neither one wanting to admit the connection there. He opened his arms to signal her to lean into him and closed his eyes. She obliged almost too quickly, closing her eyes and letting herself drift off into sleep. It didn't take the two very long to fall asleep considering the exhausting day they just had. The sound of the door opening didn't even wake them up (which was odd since Steve was normally a light sleeper). The sight of the two sleeping peacefully, cuddled up to one another brought a smile on Laura's face; her plan was working. It was only a matter of time now until they both realize how compatible they were for one another.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve woke up startled by the strange surroundings - the smell of breakfast waking him up. He blinked his eyes a few times to focus his vision and remembered he had fallen asleep at the Bartons. He also noticed a certain redhead who was snuggled against him, still sleeping peacefully in his arms. For a person who just spent the night sleeping on the couch, he was surprising refreshed and well rested; it was the best he had slept in a long time. His apartment complex had really loud neighbors who loved to party (seemed like every night) so there would be loud bangs and occasional glass breaking that would trigger his PTSD; either that or his nightmares would haunt him and wake him up in cold sweats. He slowly removed his arm, lightly laid her down on the couch, and slowly adjusted the blanket over her before going to the bathroom to wash his face. There was a brand new toothbrush waiting for him on the counter which he assumed was Laura's doing. After he was done, he made his way to the kitchen to see a very pregnant Laura, already slaving away at the stove.

"Smells good" Steve gave her a smile. "Thank you for the toothbrush. I didn't mean to fall sleep here last night" he added sheepishly.

"Oh don't even worry about it. Thanks for watching the kids on such short notice. How were they?" She plated the food and as she was about to bring the plates to the dinner table, he stopped her. "Let me" he grabbed the platters from her hands and walked them over himself. "And they were great. Tons of energy"

"I'm sure the sugar overload played a part in that" she raised her eyebrow at him and chuckled at the guilty look plastered on his face.

"I'm sorry. Just trying to remain their favorite uncle" he laughed.

"Trust me. You sealed that spot yesterday" Natasha cut in on the conversation unexpectedly. "Good morning" she grabbed a cup and poured herself some coffee.

"Good morning sunshine" Laura teased and gave her a discreet thumbs up, showing her approval.

"Good morning" Steve said quietly with a sweet smile. There was something strange in his eyes that she couldn't quite place which she quickly dismissed.

"So what are your plans for today" Laura hummed a little to happy.

"Nothing really" Steve shrugged.

"What about that high school reunion?"

"I'm not going" Steve shook his head, dismissing the subject completely.

"Why not?" Natasha asked curiously. She never had a chance to go to hers; blame it on her relationship with Ivan but it sounded fun. "It sounds a good time."

"It was a different point in time in my life" he sighed knowing that there was no way in hell the two women were going to let him shift the conversation. "I haven't even spoken to anyone from High school since well senior year" he tried to further his protest but knew the words were going in one ear and out the other by the look on Natasha's face.

"Let's go" she said with a shrug and a smile. "That's the charm of not knowing anyone. You can be anyone you want."

"I hate to say this but she has a point Cap" Laura gave an encouraging smile.

"You don't have anything more important to do today Nat?"

"Lucky for you, I have off today" she smirked and he chuckled accepting his fate. How bad could it be?

"I guess we're going to my high school reunion. I'll pick you up at 6." he hugged both ladies goodbye.

"I'll text you my address"

Laura waited long enough until Steve was out the door before giving Natasha a smug look.

"Don't say it." Natasha warned with an eyeroll knowing Laura was dying to say something smart - probably on the verge of exploding.

"I didn't say anything yet" Laura threw her hands up in defense but that smug look never leaving her face.

"Operative word being yet."

"All I'm going to say is you guys would make a cute couple. Besides, you're not getting any younger. Your biological clock is ticking" Laura joked lightly

"Goodbye Laura." She turned around to leave with a wave. She made sure her face was completely hidden so Laura couldn't tease her about the smile on her face. She had a feeling that she was about to have a very interesting day ahead of herself.

They pulled up Steve's old high school and memories seemed to start flooding in all at once; every memory about his childhood hit him like a train. He could feel his anxiety levels start to raise as he relived the past. He wore a black v neck shirt and some dark jeans and wondered if he made the right decision in dressing down - considering everyone he saw made him feel underdressed. Was there a dress code for these kind of event? If so, he hadn't been made aware. Being the observant person she was, Natasha she was could sense his nervousness and grabbed his hand to give him a reassuring squeeze.

"Hey. Are you okay?" She gave him a slightly concerned look which he quickly dismissed. "Yeah of course. Why? Do I look like I'm not?" He started to feel self conscious and he didn't even know why. This was stupid. He hasn't seen these people in forever; a lifetime ago (at least that's what it felt like). He wasn't the same guy he was back then. He grew up, matured, and survived trials and tribulations. He took a deep breath to calm the nerves. Pull yourself together, he mentally demanded himself. "I'm fine." He squeezed her hand back and forced a smile. "Let's go in."

As they walked through the halls, he realized how much times have changed. He didn't recognize many faces - most of his peers seemed to have been successful; a few lawyers, doctors, cops. Natasha was an amazing support system. She held his hand the whole time and asked him a few questions here and there simply because she genuinely curious about the boy he was back in the day. She gave him space when he needed it and brought him back to the present when he started to steer of course. The past few days made him feel normal; being able to go to the club and not have an anxiety attack and being able to keep his ptsd at bay but in this was a reminder of how broken he truly was.

"I can't believe you were this small before" she hummed amazed as he showed her his freshmen year school picture.

"If you think the girls are lined up for me now, imagine what it was like for me back then." He joked sarcastically. .

"Well I think you looked adorable." She smiled at him warmly.

"Liar" he smirked.

"Cross my heart." She drew an an imaginary x across her heart to prove her honesty. "You look the same just smaller. Just as handsome." Steve couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face. He wasn't sure if he should read into what she said a little more or write it off as something friendly - they were friends and he shouldn't cross the line. Still, he couldn't help but feel something for her; it was dull but he knew it was there.

They gazed in each other's eyes for a while before a figure caught Steve's attention. His face paled as if he had just seen a ghost which alarmed Natasha. "What's wrong Steve?"

He couldn't seem to find the words to speak - his brain unable to process any coherent sentences. Bucky. He was the last person he had expected to see at the reunion. The man was staring straight at him with a smile as he walked toward them. His heart started to pound so hard and fast, he thought he would have a heart attack right then and there.

"Hey Steve. It's been a long time old friend." Bucky extended out his hand which Steve shook hesitantly. His eyes flickered to the prosthetic arm and guilt immediately washed over him. "And you must be..." Bucky smiled politely at Natasha.

"Natasha" She returned the smile. She politely shook his hand.

"How are you doing pal?" Bucky refocused his attention on Steve after he properly introduced himself to her.

"I'm doing uh fine." Steve stumbled a bit on his words. "It was good seeing you but me and Natasha were on our way out?" Steve silently prayed that she would play along so he wouldn't be caught in his web of lies. He hadn't prepared for this moment. If he had known Bucky was going to be there, he would have never agreed to come. Thankfully, Natasha had already sensed that Steve wanted an out and was already prepared to do whatever to execute an escape route.

"It was a pleasure meeting you" Natasha smiled warmly before taking Steve's hand into hers and tugged him away slowly. They walked toward the exit in silence before Steve accidently bumped into someone while he was lost in his thoughts.

"I'm so sorry" his eyes caught sight of a familiar face; he'd known those big brown eyes and dimpled smile anywhere. "Peggy?" It was as if the fates were working against him today. Everything that could have possible gone wrong (at least in his book) did.

"Steve." The woman smiled softly at him before reaching and giving him a hug. "It's been a long time" Her voice was still gentle and lovely as it's always been - the sound of her accent brought back memories of their time together. "Who's your friend?" She asked noticing Natasha by his side. Her question brought Steve back to reality.

"This is Natasha. My girlfriend" he blurted out without thinking. He could see the slight quick flicker of surprise in Natasha's face but it vanished far too fast for Peggy to notice (at least he hoped).

"Nice to meet you." Natasha shook Peggy's hand.

"How did you guys meet?" Peggy smiled softly - there was nothing but friendliness in her tone. Natasha was good at reading people; from what she could tell, the woman in front of her genuinely cared about Steve, very much.

Natasha waited for Steve to answer - not wanting to contradict one another if they answered differently but she could see his hesitation and decided to come to his rescue once again. She figured this woman must be more than one of his random one night stands - at least this woman seemed way more decent than the blondie in the club. You owe me Rogers. If she had known going to his high school reunion would have ended up in awkward encounters with whoever these people were to him (friends she assumed), she would have just invited him over to her place for beer and pizza. Suddenly, she was glad she skipped out on her own class reunion.

"We met in the club one night when I decided to rescue this handsome fella from a desperate girl who was dying to jump his bones" Natasha smirked - immediately gaining satisfaction in the embarrassed blush on Steve's face. If they were going to need a cover story, at least keep it as close to the truth as possible so it sounded convincing.

"Well you two make a fantastic looking couple. It was nice seeing you again Steve and nice meeting you Natasha. Take care" Peggy politely smiled and went back to the party - leaving the couple to walk back to their car in silence.

The car ride home was quite awkward to say the least. Steve had cranked up the volume on the radio to avoid having to talk about what happened back at his former high school. It had taken about an hour before they reached her apartment and they have yet discussed a thing.

"Come up for a drink. You look like you need it" her tone was light but it let him know that this was not open for discussion, that he had no choice in the matter. He nodded his head and followed her up to her apartment without a fight. The truth was unexpectedly seeing the two most important people from his past had drained him.

Natasha's apartment was decorated nicely; the furniture coordinated with one another and everything was nice and tidy (as he expected). There was a subtle scent of vanilla that filled the air adding to the homey feel her apartment gave off. "Nice place"

"Thanks" She pointed to couch urging him to have a seat as she lit a few candles and went into the kitchen to grab two cups and a bottle of vodka. She returned and poured the liquid into the cup and handed it to him which he took gratefully. Alcohol wasn't the answer, he knew that but it did help. The liquor burned going down his throat but unlike last time, he actually appreciated the strength of the vodka - the burn in his chest felt good after the rough day he had. He could see from the corner of his eye Natasha was watching him - waiting for him to explain what happened today; he knew he owed her at least an explanation for the strange behavior. He poured himself another cup and downed it to help take the edge off - hoping that it would make the conversation less painful and awkward (if that were possible). He took a few minutes to gather the confidence to figure out where to begin - this was a big step for him. He's never openly talked to anyone about Peggy and Bucky (besides his therapist).. The only person that new the weight of his guilt was Sam and that was because he was there to witness the damage. Never in a million years did he ever imagine he would spill his dark deep secrets to anyone - especially like this. He wasn't the type of person to talk about these kind of things - to place his burdens on someone else; it wasn't who Steve Rogers was but the more he spent time with Natasha, the less he wanted to be alone. He wanted to share his story with her because he knew if he did, she would share her story with him; that's what a friendship was - give and take. For the first time in his life, he wanted to be heard. More importantly, he wanted to listen - to know more about the redheaded girl in front him.

"If I tell you, you have to tell me something about you" he gave her a half grin and saw the skepticism on her face. She was reluctant to agree - he could see the hesitation on her face but eventually she nodded in agreement. "Okay"

"Anything we say, stays between us right?" he asked which gained him an eyeroll and a look that said really?. He threw his hands up in protest with a smile. "Just wanted to make sure" he joked lightly before turning serious. He played with the cup in his hand - swirling the clear liquid content around in the cup. "Where do I even begin?" He sighed.

"How about from the beginning?" Natasha suggested with a slight shrug. She was never one to be have emotional conversations - as a matter of fact, she avoided heart to hearts like a plague. She knew that this was breaking her number one rule about becoming attached but one glance at Steve was enough to make her not care. He needed this. She watched him nod his head slowly and reached out her hand which he took without much thought.

"Growing up it was just me and my mom. We didn't have any other family and my dad left the first chance he got - I never got to meet the man. He ran away from his responsibilities. Part of me hates him but the other part of me is glad he didn't stick around. At least I didn't have a chance to idolize such a weak, selfish, pathetic excuse of a man. I vowed to myself that I would be a better man than he ever was. On top of that I bullied because I was small and sickly - easy target." He shrugged  
before taking a sip of his drink. "Peggy was the only girl to even glance my way when I was skinny, small Steve. She was my first and only real girlfriend. When my mom got cancer, she was there - by my side through it all. Things changed once I joined the army. She didn't want me to - she wanted me to stay with her and be a normal couple. Go to college, possibly get married, and start a family - typical cookie cutter life. Maybe I was selfish for choosing to leave but I couldn't stay - I needed  
to leave."

"So you guys broke up before you were deployed?"

"No" Steve chuckled softly without much humor. "I got my dear john letter in the mail a few months after I got sent off to Iraq" There was a brief silence between the two before Steve spoke again. "Ask me"

"Excuse me?" Natasha asked confused.

"The question you are too afraid to ask because you think it's going to rip open old wounds. It's okay. You can ask me."

Natasha nodded her head slowly. "Do you think she cheated on you while you were away?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it. As a matter of fact, that was my first thought when I read the letter but then I realized it didn't matter if she cheated on me or not". There wasn't an ounce of bitterness in his voice.

"Why not? She hurt you. It's okay to be bitter"

He shook his head with a small smile on his face. "We weren't meant to be" he said simply.

"How do you know that?"

"Because what I wanted was more important than what she wanted. I don't know much about love but I think being in love with someone means you're willing to sacrifice to make sure that person is happy because their happiness means more than your own. I didn't love her enough to put her first." Steve paused for a minute and took a deep breath. Talking about Peggy was easy. He knew that if he didn't say anything now, he never would and he's come too far to stop now. "Bucky was my best friend." He started slowly before continuing. "My brother. Blood couldn't make us any closer. He used to fight off bullies, making sure I didn't die in the alley way fighting for a lost cause. When I enlisted, he did too. Said he had to make sure I didn't get my ass kicked on the field." He laughed softly remembering it clear as day. "We made a pact to always be there for each other - Til the end of the line." He recited sadly. "I wasn't able to keep my end of the bargain." He could feel the tears build up and forced himself to keep them from falling. Natasha remained quiet but her hand never leaving his - softly stroking his hand with her thumb supportively; waiting for him to continue. "We had a night raid. We ended up with two hostages - the mission was to extract information then eliminate the threat. After we got all the information out of the men, I couldn't pull the trigger. God, I had the damn gun to the guy's head. He started rambling on about his family - begging me to spare his life.  
Bucky tried to convince me to go through with it - said he would do it for me. But I was the captain… I let them go." He pulled his hand away from her and covered his hands over his face. Guilt and Shame washed over him once again. "They came back about 15 minutes later and bombed us. I failed my men." He mumbled into his hand, choking on a sob. Natasha scooted closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, trying to soothe him.

"It wasn't your fault Steve." She hummed softly - planting a small kiss on his slumped shoulder. "You are a compassionate person. You look for the good in everyone; that's a rare trait. You can't blame yourself for what happened."

He shook his head still sobbing - unwilling to hear her out. "My compassion costed Bucky his arm. Sam was lucky to even make it out alive! So many of my men died because of my lack of judgement Nat"

This time Natasha grabbed his face and forced him to look at her. "Look at me." She demanded and waited for his eyes to reach hers before speaking again. "Steve Rogers, you do not get blame yourself for this or for your mother's death. I know for sure that after everything happened, you were the one to do everything in your power to get help and save as many of your guys as you could have. And I know you took care of your mom the best you knew how. The weight on your shoulders… they're not yours to carry Steve. Stop feeling guilty for things that are out of control. You are a good person." The conviction in her voice made it almost impossible for him to brush it off - it demanded his attention. As painful as it was to speak on his past, he felt free - like he was no longer a prisoner of his past. The guilt was still there; that would take time for him to get over that but this was a step toward healing. "Okay" he said looking her right into her eyes. "Thank you."

"No problem. My turn."

Steve looked at her confused, not understanding what she meant. "Your turn?"

"It's my turn to tell you something about me. A promise is a promise" She waited for him to nod his head before talking again. There was no turning back now. "My parents died in a car crash when I was young. I was in the car with them and by some miracle, I survived while they didn't. So I completely understand the feeling of guilt. Some days are harder than others but I'm getting better at forgiving myself."

"I guess we have more in common than meets the eye" he said lightly. He brought his glass up to clink against hers and downed his drink. He looked back at her and noticed a strange seriousness take over her. As if the death of parents was a mere icebreaker into something more serious. Now it was his turn to hold her hand reassuringly.

"The reason I moved to New York was to escape from my ex boyfriend Ivan." She sighed. "I met him when I was in a very dark place in my life. I've dated countless guys before him and I didn't take a single one of them serious. Then I met Ivan… He was handsome and painfully charming. He said all the right things and was so nice to me. I was used to dealing with assholes. He was different than any other guy I had ever dealt with - I can't even explain it. As time went on, he changed. The first time he laid a hand on me, I brushed it off because I yelled at him so it was my fault. Then he kept doing it and I was too stupid and prideful to leave because I convinced myself he loved me enough to care that much. So instead, I covered the bruises and put a smile on my face. The last straw was when I came home and found him in my bed with another woman. I knew he was cheating on me - he was always hiding his phone and leaving in the middle of the night but to actually witness it with my own eyes…" she closed her eyes before shaking her head. "Clint doesn't know it but Ivan tried to kill me. He had a knife to my throat saying that if I wasn't his, then nobody could have me" she laughed dryly. "Little did he know I had been taking mixed martial arts classes"

She noticed Steve's grip tighten and his face was stern. His eyes were hard and darken, not the light blue she was used to. His jaw was clenched so hard that it looked painful. She's never seen him like this before. "Steve?"

"Where is he?" He said flatly, not making eye contact with her. She didn't answer him so he decided to repeat himself. "He hurt you… where is he?"

Natasha finally understood what he meant and immediately shook her head. "It doesn't matter Steve. It's behind me. I don't want to go back. I know you of all people understand that"

Steve continued to stare at her hands with his signature brood face. It took him a minute but eventually he nodded his head and looked at her. "I get it. I do" he sighed and took her hand in his once again. "It's just the thought of someone hurting you  
makes me sick to my stomach."

"Hey. I'm fine. Look at me. I'm not hurt anymore" she whispered trying to reassure him. "I'm stronger than I look Rogers" she smirked.

"I know you're fine now. And I know you're a strong person" He adjusted himself so he could stare into her eyes intensely for a moment before continuing. "But I see the faint scar on your forehead" he gently brushed his thumb across it. "He's responsible for it, isn't he?" He didn't wait for a verbal confirmation because the way she quickly looked away was more than enough confirmation. "I've always noticed the little scar but now that I know why it's there… it's - it's like my skin is on fire and the only thing I want to do is find that bastard and beat the shit out of him; to make him realize that he was an idiot for ever hurting you - for taking you for granted because you're one of the most amazing people I have ever met. And I'm humbled to be able to have you in my life Nat."

Natasha was a lost for words. She was shocked (in a good way) by his speech. He saw her scar; the tiny faint reminder of her past life. No one ever noticed her scar - it was barely visible but more importantly he saw her. He was so sincere and genuine, making it so easy to get lost in the moment. No one has ever made her feel this appreciated before - made her feel like she was actually a blessing in someone's life. The lack of words from Natasha began to make Steve regret saying what he said that he started to panic. He knew what he said had crossed the line between friends and more than friends and it was too late to take it back.

"I'm sorry. I never made one of these stupid speeches to anyone before, anyone. It was completely inappropriate. I crossed a line and -" his rambling was cut off by Natasha's lips. After the initial shock, he found himself kissing her back. Natasha wasn't really sure if this was the right decision but she didn't care. It felt right - so amazing right. He was quite a good kisser - so attentive, gentle yet urgent at the same time. His lips were soft and the taste of him sent shivers down her spine. Fireworks. The only word she could use to describe what she was feeling in the moment. It took a lot of self control for both of them but eventually they pulled away - trying to catch their breath from the passionate, unexpected make out session they just had.

"Natasha…"

"Steve. It's getting late… I'm tired." Natasha cut him off. She wasn't ready to talk about what just happened yet. This was too much, too soon. She didn't even know what possessed her to kiss him. She blamed it on the alcohol - too much alcohol made her impulsive. Steve took the hint and got off the couch and headed for the door. "We'll talk about it right?" He asked before leaving.

"Yeah" she said but he was unconvinced - still he left, respecting her boundaries. He wasn't going to pressure her if she didn't want to; She'll talk when she was ready.

An: Slow burn no more :D


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

It wasn’t a secret that Natasha Romanoff sucked at dealing with emotional situations. As a matter of fact, those who knew her knew she was a master of the art of avoidance which was exactly what she had been doing for the past week. She ignored all of Steve’s texts and calls all week; she had even gone as far as changing his ringtone and turned off her read receipt just to be on the safe side. She had to give it to him, the man was persistent. The plan was to ride the wave long enough for the problem to magically go away but she knew that it was wishful thinking. If she wanted to continue their friendship (which she did), she would have to eventually bite the bullet. In the meantime, she would handle her problems the way she typically does which was ignoring the issue and drinking. 

The bar wasn’t overly crowded tonight so Natasha didn’t have to worry about too many random guys hitting on her which was a nice change of pace for her - not that she didn’t enjoy the free drinks but some of those guys wreaked of pure desperation. She checked her phone for the time, 8;45. She waiting on Clint to show up because she promised to have drinks with him before the baby had arrived. He had been especially stressed out the past couple of days due to Laura having multiple false labors; calling her to vent every chance he got. He blamed it on the fact that the first two pregnancies were far too easy so she was paying the debt now. The bottom line was Clint Barton needed a break. She spotted him walking through the front door in his signature black leather jacket on. There were dark bags under his eyes - the exhaustion evident on his face. Still, he gave her a wide smile when he approached her. He gave her a quick hug before taking a seat next to the empty bar stool beside her. 

“How are you?” Natasha asked although she already knew the answer. 

“I could be doing better. I’m sleeping as if the baby were already born” he joked lightly. “Jameson on the rocks” he nodded at the bartender. She had to give him credit; no matter how hard parenthood was, Clint always worked harder to make sure his wife and children were loved and well taken care of. 

“I can tell. You look like shit Barton.” she teased with a smirk. 

“Thanks” He answered sarcastically as he downed his drink. “I could say the same about you. What’s wrong with you? You seemed a little off this past week” 

“I think he would disagree.” Natasha smirked, deflecting the question. Tonight was about drinks and unwinding - talking about problems was not apart of the agenda. “I’m going to go see if I still have it.” she gave a quick wink before sliding off the seat and walking toward the handsome stranger who had been staring at her. Harmless flirting was exactly what she needed. Simple and fun. She confidently made her way toward the man and took a seat next to him. “Hi there” she gave him a flirtatious smile. The man had dark short hair, broad shoulders, and a nice face. He also had a confident grin on his face that he was failing miserably to conceal; flirting with him was going to be fun. 

“Hey.” He tried to play it cool but Natasha could right through it. “Is that your boyfriend over there?” He asked nodding toward Clint who was busy watching the game playing on the tv, completely oblivious from everything else. 

“Oh no. That’s my brother” she made a disgusted face. The thought of dating Clint Barton felt like incest. At this point, it shouldn’t even be shocking that the guy thought they were an item; people mistakenly thought that about them all the time. It’s not that Clint was bad looking or anything like that; Clint was actually quite handsome. The problem was he was literally the male version of her. She’s tried dating guys who were similar to her and it was terrible. There was no depth to their conversation and the flame died rather too quickly. She needed someone who was different from her - someone who would challenge her. In all the years she’s known him, she’s never looked at him as anything more than an annoying big brother. 

“Well in that case, my name is Aaron. Let me buy you a drink. Bartender can I get a shirley temple for the pretty lady?” She suppressed a laugh because this man did not know who he was dealing with. 

“She’s more of a vodka girl” A voice said from behind them causing Natasha’s eyes widened in shock - she knew that voice. She turned around a saw a very annoyed Steve with his arms crossed. His eyes were filled with either jealousy or anger, maybe both - she wasn’t really sure. He looked good. He had cut his hair shorter, let his beard grow out a bit, and it seemed like every time she saw him his body gets more and more defined (if that were possible) .She couldn’t help but feel a little guilt in the pit of her stomach; it was as if she was caught doing something she shouldn’t be doing even though she wasn’t doing anything wrong. She had to remind herself that he wasn’t her boyfriend.

“Who are you?” Aaron got off the bar stool and looked Steve in his eyes challengingly as if to let Steve know he wasn’t welcomed. Steve on the other hand was less than intimidated by the guy. “I’m with her.” Steve said, his eyes never breaking eye contact with the man. 

Natasha could see the frustration in Aaron’s face and decided it was time to step in before this silly little alpha male showdown turned into a full fledged bar fight - too much testosterone never ended well. There was no doubt that Steve would absolutely kick the guy’s ass if it came down to it. Although Aaron was athletically built, Steve made him look puny in comparison. She grabbed Steve by the arm and pulled him away and was thank he didn’t resist.

“Hey wait.” Aaron grabbed Natasha’s had to stop her from leaving. Steve barely had time to actually think before his fist connected with the guy’s face. 

“Get out before I call the cops!” The bartender yelled out from behind the counter. Natasha was already pulling him outside - giving Clint a signal that she had it covered so he could continue his night off. This was not what she had in mind for a relaxing night out. 

 

They hopped on Steve’s bike and raced back to his apartment without so much of a word. Both were far too caught up in their own thoughts to say anything that wouldn’t lead to an argument. On any other occasion, a motorcycle would intrigue her (she had a weakness for guys who drove bikes) but she was far too pissed off to care. It’s not like Steve was showering her with apologies anyways when he was clearly in the wrong. He let her into his apartment without as much as a word, going to his fridge and grabbing a 6 pack out before flopping on the couch. He expected her to have a seat but instead she stood glaring at him with pissed off eyes. “What’s your problem?” he mumbled knowing that he was opening pandora’s box. She was acting as if he didn’t have any right to be upset. 

“You’re kidding me right?” She scoffed in disbelief. “You just stalked me and then punched a random guy for absolutely no reason at all. What is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t stalk you. Sam dragged me out because he said Clint needed some buddies to have drinks with. I didn’t even know you were going to be there.” He wasn’t sure if he was more offended by the fact that she thought he stalked her or that she was defending that asshole at the bar. “I didn’t mean to punch him. He grabbed you and it was my natural instinct to protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection. I can do that on my own.” She yelled. Nothing pissed her off more than people assuming she was weak simply because she was a small girl. “I’m not some damsel in distress. You can keep your knight in shining armor suit in the closet.” 

“I never said you needed protection.” he shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t understand why she was getting so worked up to begin with. He wasn’t wrong for what he did especially after what she told him about her abusive past relationship. “It happened and I’m not apologizing for it.” 

“If this is what a friendship with you is like -”

“A friendship?” he scoffed. “It didn’t look like you even gave a shit about this friendship. You have been avoiding me for the past week. You don’t pick up the phone or at least have the decency to text me back because you were too busy flirting at the bar with some tool instead.” He didn’t bother to mask the bitterness in his voice.

Her expression softened a bit but not enough for it to be noticeable. She was still incredibly pissed but she knew he had a point. If she were in his shoes, she probably would have been just as bitter as he was. “I know that you were jealous and I’m sor-”

“If that’s your way of apologizing, you can save it.” he shook his head in disbelief. He knew he was being stubborn but she was missing the point. Maybe he was jealous but the issue was bigger than that. “I kissed you and maybe I was wrong for that but you kissed me back Nat. If you didn’t feel something for me than why would you kiss me back?”

Her face gave no emotions even if she was feeling a million feelings at once. She knew he was beginning to grow feelings for her; it was obvious in the way he acted around her. The truth was she felt something too and it scared her - terrified her. Steve was different from the other guys she’s dealt with before. He was a good man with pure intentions; stubborn, frustrating, and flawed but a good man nonetheless. She wasn’t equipped to handle that kind of man. She knew how to be with assholes and douche bags but nice guys were out of her league. Steve was the type of man who wanted a white picket fence. He wanted commitment and at one point in time she did too but times have changed. Her past relationship with Ivan changed her. She wasn’t able to give that to him. It’s not like she had living parents to have an example of what true love was; she wouldn’t even know where to begin. So for the sake of not wasting each other’s time, she said the words she knew she had to say. 

“It was the alcohol Rogers.” She put on her best smirk. 

“So you’re telling me you don’t have any kind of feelings for me?”

“I’m not interested” she shrugged, keeping her voice as firm as possible.

Steve eyed her carefully still unconvinced by her words. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way you could have kissed me the way you did and not have any feelings for me.” 

“Get over yourself. I’m not one of these girls you have lined up. I have my own issues to deal with.” Steve’s face harden at the sound of her words which made her immediately regret them. The way she said it came off wrong like it was a jab, a low blow after he had confided in her with his deepest darkest secrets. She wanted to clarify and make him understand that she didn’t mean for it the way it sounded but it was too late. This was what was best; the only way to put an end to whatever they had going on before both of them got in too deep. 

“So it was a pity kiss” he asked quietly, staring at her with an unreadable expression. His blue eyes were now cold and dark. 

“Yes” she forced herself to say. 

He nodded his head slowly, letting the revelation set in. He got up off the couch and grabbed his jacket and keys heading for the door. 

“Where are you going?” She asked. “This is your apartment.” she added but it was too late, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if anyone is reading but if you are I hope you enjoy


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

 

He rode his bike for over an hour with no particular destination in mind. The only thing he knew for certain was he had to get as far away from Natasha as possible. It wasn’t surprising that he ended up at Central Park. The place had ended up being his go to spot when there was a lot on his mind. New York was known as the city that never sleeps so this was the most peaceful place he could find; a place where he could blend in and be alone with his thoughts. The walk in the park was rather nice; it was a bit chilly but not uncomfortably cold and the stars were visible which was rare. Steve replayed the conversation with Natasha over and over again in his head, along with the times they had spent leading up to where they were now. 

 

Steve was no stranger to loneliness but in this moment he has never felt more lonely. He felt betrayed, embarrassed, but more importantly he was disappointed. He almost felt silly for feeling these kind of emotions toward Natasha. It wasn’t as if they knew each other for years - they had just met recently but that didn’t seem to matter. Their friendship (although new) meant a lot to Steve. He trusted and cared for her more than he thought he could for any girl. The connection he had with her was pure and he felt it from the moment he first spoke to her. It hurt to lose that. Arguing with her was almost more painfully than any battle wounds he’d ever suffered. The metaphoric pain people say when your heart breaks was a physical one for him; he could feel the dull sharp pain in his chest as if he could literally feel his heart shattering to pieces. Maybe he was so caught up in his own feelings that he fabricated the idea of her actually feeling the same about him. He couldn’t blame her for not returning the affection; that wasn’t fair. He could get over the fact that she didn’t like him the way he liked her - that was fine. The thing he couldn’t get over was that she had returned his kiss out of pity. As if he were too wounded for her to actually tell him no - only indulging in the moment to not hurt his feelings. He thought she would be the last person to ever pity him but apparently he thought wrong. Either way, he had to stop throwing himself a pity party and move on. The simple solution was to go back to his old ways and find a one night stand - maybe give Sharon a call but that wasn’t who he was anymore. Sharon deserved better than that and he deserved better than a meaningless one night stand. Thanks to Natasha, he had come to the realization that as much as he said he didn’t want more, he really did. 

 

He was walking down the quiet path when he heard a soft cry. At first he ignored it - it wasn’t his business. It was probably some girl crying over her boyfriend or something but then he heard a gun click and his feet immediately stopped in its tracks. “Give me all your money and no one gets hurt” he heard a man bark out. Steve’s soldier instinct immediately kicked in and took over as he scanned his eyes to locate the robbery. He slowly took steps toward the sound of the muffled noises and found a man with a face mask on, pointing a gun at a young lady. The woman was completely terrified, shaking uncontrollably trying to stifle her cries. Steve kept a good distance away from the scene, close enough to react if the situation escalated but far enough to not be seen; he need to be careful if didn’t want the gunman to do anything irrational out of panic. The way he saw it, he only had two options. The first option was to slowly creep up from behind and tackle the man down. The second option was to create a distraction - take the gunman’s attention away from the girl and have it on him instead. Both options had its risks and neither of them involved calling the police. There was no way the police could come in time. 

 

He could see the gunman grow impatient and slap the girl with the gun out of frustration. “I said give me everything you have. Don't make me shoot you” That was enough to make Steve abandon both of his options and charge full force toward the man. Steve was quick enough to tackle him down before the man could register what was happening. Steve threw a punch and tried to pull the gun away but the man was stronger than he looked. “Run!” Steve yelled at the girl as he tried to wrestle the gun out of the guy’s hand. “Now!”

 

The girl made no effort to move, too shocked to process what was going on. Both men continued to wrestle each other over the weapon before a loud gunshot filled the air. The man’s scrambled to his feet in complete panic. “I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean to shoot…” he said before running away from the crime scene, leaving Steve on the ground covered in a pool of his own blood. The pain filled his entire body. The bullet had penetrated deep into his chest.

 

“Omg. Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.” The young woman he had just saved was crouched down beside him with her hand over his wound to try to stop the bleeding but it didn’t. She hurried and pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911. “I need an ambulance here right now. I-I, this man was shot. H-he doesn’t look like he’s going to make it. Please hurry. He saved my life” The woman spoke so fast she wasn’t sure the operator was able to understand her - she silently prayed they did because she didn’t know if she had the strength to repeat herself. Thankfully, the person on the other end said they were sending for help immediately. “I’m so sorry” she choked out through her tears. 

 

“It’s not your fault” Steve managed to say and gave her the best smile he could despite the pain he was in. He could feel himself slowly slip into unconsciousness. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall into the darkness as sound of faint sirens and the sobs of the girl fade away. 

 

 

Natasha stood in front of the Barton family’s door, debating on whether or not she should knock on the door. It was late - a quarter past midnight; she should have been home but after the incident at Steve’s apartment, the last thing she wanted to do was be alone. The Bartons were the only family she had left so naturally this was the first place she thought off when she entered the address in for her uber. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to make the move to knock on the door. They couldn’t see her like this - this emotionally distraught. Being this vulnerable was a sign of weakness and she vowed a long time ago to never give people a reason to think she was weak because she wasn’t. She sighed before taking a seat on the porch. Pull yourself together. You did what was right. Logical. You and him would have never worked out anyways. She had to constantly remind herself to quiet the guilt that threatened to consume her. When had her life gotten so complicated? 

 

A car pulled up slowly into the driveway, pulling Natasha out of her thoughts. Clint. Normally she was an extremely observant person but tonight she didn’t even seem to realize that Clint’s car was missing from his normal parking spot. She hurried and wiped her face of any emotion before Clint got out of the car. She didn’t want to be the reason he ended his night off on a bad note. 

 

“Natasha?” He asked confused as he emerged out of the car and walked toward the front door of his house. “What are you doing here? And what happened to Steve?” 

 

She got up from where she was sitting to allow him room to open the door before following him inside. She could tell he was slightly buzzed by the extra squint in his eyes. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t get yourself locked up.” She smirked at him, completely ignoring the second question. She plopped herself on the couch and got comfortable and prompted Clint to do the same. 

 

“Those days are behind me.” He chuckled, remember his crazy nights when he was still a teen. “What happened at the bar anyways? Did Steve have another ptsd episode?” Clint’s light hearted mood quickly turned serious when he remembered that Steve got into a bar fight tonight. Steve was a good friend - good man but he’d witnessed Steve struggle with his ptsd many times before. They recently haven’t been happening as often but Clint wasn’t naive enough to believe that they would have just disappeared over night. 

 

“No” Natasha quickly shook her head. She was aware of Steve suffered from severe ptsd - it wasn’t uncommon for veterans to come back from the war with ptsd. On a few occasions, she had witnessed Steve get startled by loud noises or his body would go completely tense whenever he was in a crowded area. However, tonight was not the case. Tonight he was completely aware of what he was doing and made it clear that he felt no remorse for what he did. She didn’t know whether to lie or tell the truth. Clint wasn’t even aware of how close Natasha and Steve have gotten over the past few weeks. How would it sound if he heard that Steve punched the guy because of her? How could she possibly explain that when she didn’t understand it herself. Luckily for her, his cellphone rang giving her an easy out. 

 

“Hello?” Clint answered the phone casually, mouthing to Natasha that it was Sam on the other line. Natasha watched as Clint’s calm eyes suddenly widen in alarm. “What did you say?” He raised his voice in complete disbelief. “Ok. Ok I’m on my way. See you soon.” He rushed off the couch and clumsily grabbed his keys and jacket. 

 

“What’s wrong Clint?” She asked concerned. It’s been awhile since she’s seen Clint this distraught. Whatever Sam told must have been really bad.

 

“Steve was shot. I gotta go.” 

 

Natasha heart stopped - she wasn’t sure if she had heard him right. “What did you say?” She needed to make sure that it was just her brain playing dirty tricks on her. There was no way Steve could be hurt, she was just with him not too long ago. This made no sense. 

 

“Steve is in the hospital.” 

 

Natasha could feel the blood rushing out of her body. It was as if time had stopped. This couldn’t be real. She refused to believe it. “You’re lying.” She shook her head, searching for a sign that Clint was probably joking but there was only seriousness in his eyes.

 

“Why the hell would I be lying about this?” Clint yelled frustrated. He paced back and forth trying to calm himself down before he got in the car and drove to the hospital to be there for his friend. The alcohol he consumed mixed with worry was not a good combination for night driving. He paused in the middle of his pacing and took a deep breath. It wasn’t fair for him to snap out on Natasha when it wasn’t her fault; it was obvious that she was just as worried as he was. “Look I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you Tasha but Steve is hurt and I gotta go.” He sighed. 

 

“What happened to Steve?” Natasha asked keeping her voice leveled and quiet - not wanting to wake up Laura or the kids. She was still trying to process the fact that Steve was hurt. 

 

“I don’t know. Sam said he’ll explain when I get there. Whatever happened had to be bad enough to land him in the hospital.” Clint hated not knowing the details - it made him feel powerless. The news has his brain thinking of a million of different scenarios that could have happened to Steve that could have possibly resulted in him getting so badly hurt that he ended up in the hospital. Steve wasn’t the type of guy who would purposely start a fight unless he absolutely had to. Clint refused to believe that Steve would even participate in a situation that was petty or irrelevant so whatever happened had to have been necessary. Clint forced the negative thoughts out of his mind. He had to look at the facts; the facts were Steve was hurt and in the hospital. Everything else is irrelevant. He’ll find out the truth when he got there.

 

Suddenly the hallway lights came on followed by a sleepy Laura waddling down the stairs. “What’s going on?” She said with a yawn, wiping the sleep out of her face. She could feel the tension as soon as she walked down the stairs. Natasha looked like she had just seen a ghost and Clint had his worried expression on his face. 

 

Clint sighed again before walking slowly toward his wife, feeling terrible for waking her up. She was tired and stressed enough already with the pregnancy; he didn’t want to add any more to it. “I’m sorry for waking you sweetie but I have to leave to go to the hospital. Steve’s hurt.” He made sure to leave out the major details so he wouldn’t worry her too much. If he had the choice, he would even tell her the truth but he knew it would only cause more problems and he didn’t feel like being in the doghouse. Laura loved Steve - everyone did so lying wasn’t an option especially when Laura would find out anyways. 

 

“Oh my god, is he okay?” The sleep vanished from Laura’s voice and was replaced with concerned. Her eyes immediately flickered toward Natasha to see if her friend was okay. Even if Natasha refused to acknowledge her feelings, Laura knew that over the past few weeks Steve had became an important person in her life. It didn’t surprise her to see a blank expression on Natasha’s face; it was her own way of dealing with the issues herself.

 

“Steve’s a fighter” Clint lowered his voice to try to ease the worry as much as he could and gave his wife a kiss on the forehead. “I’ll be home soon.” He whispered before turning toward the door. 

 

“I’m coming too” Natasha followed Clint out the door and to the car. The drive to the hospital was silent - both were too worried to say a word to one another. Natasha fought her tears back - willing herself to be positive. Tears were for the dead. Steve was still alive. Everything will be just fine….


	9. Chapter 9

Clint and Natasha rushed through the doors of the hospital searching frantically for the information desk to speed up the process of finding Steve’s room. It probably would have been easier to call Sam but neither of their phones had reception inside the hospital walls. Natasha was the first person to spot the information desk and immediately raced over. “Hello, I need to know what room Steve Rogers is in.” 

 

“Of course. Give me one second.” The young woman gave her a warm smile and began typing into the computer in front of her. “May I ask who you are to Mr. Rogers.” 

 

“We’re his family” Clint chimed in, knowing that if they told the receptionist that they were his friends and not relatives, she would have been more reluctant to give that kind of information to them. Technically, he wasn’t lying when he said they were family. Over the past few years, Clint had learned that he could trust Steve with his life - he was his brother. Hell, his kids called the man their uncle. Blood was just a minor technicality. 

 

The woman nodded her head, seeming to be satisfied by that answer and continued typing and scrolling through her data base. “Looks like he is on the 5th floor, room 24. Just take the elevator up to the 5th floor and make a right, keep going straight, and the room should be on your right hand side.” 

 

They thanked the woman and practically ran to the elevators - following her every direction and found his room with ease. She didn’t even bother to greet Sam like Clint had - her eyes locked onto Steve as soon as she entered the room. Natasha’s heart started to pound harder and harder as she took steps closer to his bed as she took in the sight of his injured body. His face was pale, bruised, and blood stained - so lifeless that it scared her. In that moment, she wanted more than anything to go back a few hours ago back in his apartment building where they were arguing - arguing was way better than seeing him in a hospital bed. She slowly wrapped her fingers around his arm and stroked it softly, hoping that by doing so she could take away even just a fraction of the pain he was probably in even though she knew she was being silly. A tear slowly fell from her eye and she didn’t even bother trying to hide it. What was the point? This was her fault. If she hadn’t lied to him about her feelings and purposely hurt him, he wouldn’t be in this situation. He would have been home, safe and sound. 

 

“He lost a lot of blood. Doctors said he was lucky the bullet didn’t hit his heart but it was close.” Sam said softly with his arms crossed, breaking the silence.

 

“Jesus.” Clint sighed, running his hand through his hair. “How did this even happen?” 

 

“According to police reports, he saved a girl from an armed man.” Sam sighed and shook his head. “He got shot in the midst of trying to get the gun out of the man’s hands.”

 

Natasha could feel herself get angrier by the minute. “Why are you so calm about this?” She asked Sam - her tone was a bit more harsh than she had meant it but she didn’t understand how he could be so level headed when his friend was unconscious - possibly even dying. She looked at Clint and realized he wasn’t reacting to the way she was expecting either which only further pissed her off. Was she the only person enraged? Nothing about this was okay.. “What is wrong with the two of you?” She yelled frustratedly. Her outburst caused Clint to look at her in surprise. Out of all the years he’d known Natasha, he had never seen her get this worked up. She had always been the voice of reason - the one who could set their emotions aside - compartmentalizing. This was a side of Natasha didn’t even know existed. 

 

“Tasha…” Clint said as he reached for her arm but she jerked back angrily. He raised his hands up to show her that he was going to back off. “I’m not saying that him being hurt is okay because it’s not.” He spoke softly and slowly. “But this is who he is” 

 

“Are you saying he was trying to get himself killed?” Natasha asked accusingly not bothering to lower her voice. The challenge in her voice did not go unnoticed by the two men.

 

“What he means is.. Cap is the type of man to protect other people.” Sam said attempting to help his friend explain the situation better. “For as long as I’ve known him, he’s always been about fighting for what is right and sometimes the man is impulsive - doing things without thinking it through but his intentions are pure. If Steve sees a situation pointed south, he reacts. He couldn’t ignore it even if he tried. That’s just who he is.” Sam said with a slight shrug, not really knowing how else to put it. He hoped that his words got through to Natasha. The last thing he needed was Steve’s almost girlfriend to be any more upset than she was. Sam wasn’t blind; he saw the progression of their relationship and it was definitely anything but platonic despite what either one of them might say. The truth was, he was happy for them. Since they met, Steve had slowly transformed back into the old man he used to be. The ptsd was subsiding and he was actually willing to reconnect with everyone again after years of isolation. Natasha was able to help mend Steve’s wounds (both physically and mentally) without even realizing she was doing it. Sam didn’t know her too well but he had a gut feeling Natasha was exactly what Steve needed. 

 

Natasha remained quiet, focusing her eyes on Steve before nodding. There was a brief moment of silence besides the beeping of the machines before the doctor came back the room.

 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Rosenburg.” He greeted the three of them with a handshake before flipping through the charts in his hands. “Mr. Rogers lost a significant amount of blood, we did successfully performed a blood transfusion on him so he is stable for now. To be honest, the only thing we could do at this point is wait.”

 

“So he’s going to be okay?” Clint asked hopefully. 

 

“Well right now, it’s up to him to decide. We’ve done everything we could to tend to his physical injuries. It’s a matter of Mr. Roger’s willpower now” 

 

“What do you mean Doc?” Sam asked unsure of what the doctor meant. 

 

The doctor contemplated his words carefully before he spoke.“I’m a doctor. I believe in medicine. I think that 90% of the time, surgery and medicine will save a person’s life… but I also believe in the spirit. To me, the other 10% is a matter of willpower. Mr. Rogers has to want to get better in order to pull through” he spoke softly. He could see the three people considering his words. “I have to go check on my other patients. Do you guys have any questions for me?”

 

All of them shook their heads.

 

“Alright. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask one of the nurses. If it’s something they don't know the answer to, they will find me and I will make sure to explain it to you. The only issue left is that having all three of you guys here at this hour is against Hospital policies - unfortunately only one of you could stay overnight with Mr. Rogers.”

 

Natasha was the first to speak. “I’ll stay.”

 

“I can stay if you two want to go home and rest.” Sam offered but Natasha quickly dismissed his offer. “No I want to.” Both men knew better than to press the issue and agreed to let her stay. 

 

“Call me if you need anything.” Clint gave her a tight hug. “I’ll be back in the morning.” He stopped briefly outside the door, taking note of the way Natasha was looking at Steve. There was a certain tenderness in her eye that was never there before. Actually, he’s never seen her look at anyone that way before. How could he have been so blind to have not noticed Steve and Natasha growing closer? Now that he thought about it, Laura’s strange behavior made complete sense now. He shook his head and turned to leave - leaving Natasha alone with Steve. 

 

She waited to be to make sure she was completely alone before breaking down into complete sobs. It had taken every ounce of strength she had to have been able to maintain her composure in front of the others. Her body started to shake uncontrollably and the tears kept falling against her will. The longer she stared at his injuries especially the big bandage across his chest that was stained deep red from blood, the more the guilt consumed her. She didn’t realize how much she missed seeing those beautiful blue eyes or his gorgeous smile. She missed him. The idea of a life without him broke her heart to pieces. “You gotta wake up Steve.” She murmured into his hand and kissed it gently. There was an unexpected shuffle noise behind her that caused her to jerk her head back toward the door to find out who it was. Bucky. He had been the last person she had expected to see. 

 

“Hi” He gave her a little smile and stood awkwardly by the door, unsure if it was okay to step inside. 

 

Natasha noticed the hesitation and nodded her head to let him know it was okay for him to enter - she was a bit confused on how he knew Steve was here. “Hi.” She said softly, returning her gaze back at Steve. 

 

“Sam told me he was here. If that’s what you were wondering.” He chuckled softly. He didn’t want to come off as a stalker, knowing how odd it must have seemed for him to just appear out of nowhere.

 

Natasha on the other hand didn’t join in on the laughter. “I don’t want to come off as rude or anything but why did you come?” She asked curiously. 

 

“I’m assuming Steve told you about our history.” 

 

Natasha nodded her head and looked at Bucky, waiting for him to explain. She could tell that there wasn’t any ulterior motives behind why he had come by the genuine concern in his eyes but she was curious. According to Steve, the two men haven’t been friends for awhile now. It would have been normal for Bucky to have some sort of resentment toward Steve after losing his arm;she wouldn’t blame him if he did (not saying she believed it was Steve’s fault he lost his arm). She could see Bucky furrow his eyebrows in complete seriousness before he answered her. 

 

“Despite what Steve may think, I don’t blame him for what happened on the battlefield. My arm…” he paused shortly before continuing. “It wasn’t his fault. We were in the middle of a war. Injuries happen. I knew that when I signed up to join the army. I don’t regret anything. If I had to choose, I would follow that man into war all over again.” He nodded his head toward Steve. Every word he said was true. He didn’t regret anything. Sure the situation was shitty but it wasn’t as if Steve had abandoned him on the battlefield or anything like that. As a matter fact, Steve never left a man behind; it wasn’t in his nature to do that. He knew that if Steve were given the choice, he would trade his life in exchange for Bucky’s arm because that’s who he was - a selfless man.

 

“That’s very admirable. Can I ask you another question?”

 

“Go for it” He shrugged. “Mind as well” 

 

“If you know that Steve feels guilty for the loss of your arm, why haven’t you tried to mend your broken friendship?”

 

Bucky lips curled into a half smile. “It’s because he does feel guilty that I keep my distance. He’s my brother - blood or not. I promised his mother to take care of him when she passed and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I stay away because I know that the more he was around me, the more guilt he would feel. The sight of my arm would be a constant reminder to him of what happened and I don’t want that. I’ve made my peace with what happened - accepted it and moved on. Steve hasn’t. Just because I’m not present doesn’t mean I don’t get constant updates from Sam. I’ll always be here for Steve… I’m with him til the end of the line…” his words trailed off slowly at the end.

 

His words gave Natasha a sense of admiration toward Bucky. “He loves you.” She said softly - wanting Bucky to know that even though Steve couldn’t show it, he did.

 

“I know.” He gave her a soft warm smile. “Now it’s my turn to ask you a question.” He waited for Natasha to agree before asking. “Are you his girlfriend?” 

 

“I’m not” she dismissed quickly although her words fell flat. She could see that he was unconvinced by her answer; she wasn’t exactly sure she believed it herself despite it being the truth. “Honestly I don’t know what we are.” She sighed. “It’s complicated.”

 

“I see.” Bucky nodded his head understandingly. He didn’t push it, not wanting to further cause her any more confusion than she already was feeling. It wasn’t his business to comment on it but he was more than confident that they would figure things out once Steve was conscious. There was obviously love there. “Well, I don’t really know you but I’m rooting for you guys” 

 

Me too, she thought to herself. She was a fool to believe that she was better off without him. The emptiness she was currently feeling was a huge indication of how much she truly needed him in her life. Need. It was hard for her to admit it but she did need him. He made her feel alive. He made her feel worthy of love - like her past was nothing more than just that. Maybe she would be able to learn to love again. Maybe love wasn’t just for children but for her as well… She’ll never know until he was better and awake. And just then, it was as if God had heard her prayers. She felt a slight twitch in his finger as she held his hand. 

 

“Steve?” She called out to him, hoping the sound of her voice would bring him back to her. “Steve please open your eyes.” She tugged his hand gently to make sure her mind was playing tricks on her. He started to shuffled around a bit but after a few seconds, his eyes started to flutter open.


	10. Chapter 10

As soon as Steve opened his eyes, he immediately wished he never did. The pain was more than enough to make him want to fall himself back to unconsciousness. At least then, he didn’t feel the excruciating pain that shot throughout his body. Confusion started to set in as he tried to remember the events leading up to him being in a hospital. He vaguely remembered getting shot after fighting off the robber in central park but everything after that was a blur. The more he tried to force himself to remember what happened, the more his head started to hurt. He closed his eyes hoping the pain would disappear but a familiar voice called out to him. “Steve?”

 

He knew that voice. Natasha. His eyes immediately shot open and he turned his head to find Natasha staring at him with teary eyes. What was she doing here? Her face showed signs of exhaustion He tried to call out for her but instead fell into a fit of uncontrollable coughs - his throat was too dry for him to make any comprehensible words. She immediately shook her head and grabbed a cup of water, urging him to stop, and brought it to his lips so that he could drink. 

“Shhh…” she cooed. 

 

He gulped down every last drop of water hungrily then took a few deep breaths before attempting to speak again. “Natasha” he said this time with a little more ease. Steve tried to reach his hand out to touch her but immediately retracted and winced in pain. 

 

“God, Steve. Can you just fucking relax?” Natasha yelled out in frustration. If he weren’t already in pain, she would have punched him for being such an idiot. “I’m not going anywhere” She softened her voice and grabbed his hand to assure him that she was right by his side. He nodded his head, relaxed himself, and gave her a small smile which she returned despite the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She was ecstatic that he was awake even though he was still very much hurt - at least this was a step in the right direction. He was going to be okay and that’s what mattered. 

 

Natasha turned her head to the corner where Bucky sat but he was gone. Steve noticed the confusion on her face and was alerted. “What’s wrong?” 

 

“I’ll be right back” Natasha stood up and walked out the door and saw Bucky walking away. “Where are you going?” She caught up to him and grabbed a hold of his arm to stop him.

 

“I’m going home” Bucky answered as if it were common sense. 

 

“But Steve just woke up… Don’t you want to at least talk-”

 

“No” Bucky cut her off immediately - his voice came off harsher than he had intended. “I’m sorry Natasha. I don’t mean to be rude.” Natasha nodded her head and urged him to continue explaining himself. As much as she wanted to understand the reason why Bucky was choosing to leave, the truth was she didn’t. It was obvious that he still cared about Steve or else he wouldn’t have been there to begin with. It doesn’t make sense for him to walk away when this was his chance to mend their issues but he was just tossing it away. 

 

“He can’t move on and forgive himself if I’m constantly around as a reminder of what happened back in Iraq. This is for the best… the best for Steve” He gave her a small smile and patted her softly on the shoulder. “Take care of him” With that, he turned to leave without looking back. Natasha waited until he boarded the elevator before making her way back to Steve’s room. By the time she entered the room again, a nurse was examining Steve’s vitals. 

 

“Everything looks good Mr. Rogers. Your blood pressure and vitals all came back normal so the only thing left to do is for you to rest. Do you have anyone who can help take care of you at home while you are in the healing process?” The nurse asked as she made some notes off of her clipboard. 

 

“I’m going to be the one taking care of him” Natasha answered from the door, startling both Steve and the nurse. She took her seat next to Steve’s bedside and ignored the looks he was giving her. If he needed someone to take care of him, she was going to be that person. 

 

“That’s great to hear. Well if you have any questions or start to feel any discomfort please let me know and we could give you something a little stronger to help with the pain” 

 

Steve put on a forced smile until the nurse was out of the room before sighing. “I appreciate the offer but I’m going to have to decline.” 

 

“It wasn’t up for discussion. You heard the nurse, you need someone to take care of you so I’m going to do it.” Natasha rolled her eyes as if it were common sense. He was acting as if he even had a say in the matter. 

 

“Natasha” Steve began to protest but stopped when he noticed the look on her face that told him that he was wasting his time and should just accept his fate. He’s come to learn over the course of their friendship that once she had her mind set, there was no negotiating it. “Fine but why are you doing this?” What he really wanted to ask was why she was here but thought against it. He didn’t want to argue anymore - to bring up the argument that still caused a pain in his chest every time he thought about it. He wondered if she was there out of pity but when he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing but genuine concern. The bottom line was she was here - she cared enough to be by his side. As much as he wanted to hold on to his bitterness toward her, he found that he couldn’t. He still cared way too much for her. It was frustrating and confusing all at the same time. He studied her facial expression and saw that she was contemplating her answer - as if she was unsure of the reason herself. It took her a minute but eventually she opened her mouth to answer.

 

“Because you’re my friend” The word friend tasted bitter coming out of her mouth. Earlier she had been so confident in explaining herself and confessing her feelings but now that the time has come, she couldn’t find the courage to do so. She chickened out. What if he didn’t feel the same way about her anymore? She had given him every reason to hate her; the way she just threw his past in his face like that, hell if she were him she probably would have hated her too. Friends was safe - it was comfortable. It was the only thing she could ask for even though she knew she was undeserving of his friendship. She knew how to be his friend but she didn’t know what being his girlfriend would be like and that was terrifying. What if their relationship was meant to stay platonic? What if things ended so badly that they would hate each other? That wasn’t something she was willing to risk. She watched him closely, searching for any sign of emotion to give her a hint of what he was thinking but only saw his signature brood face. “We are friends right?” she asked to clarify. She didn’t want to jump the gun if he wasn’t ready to be her friend yet.

 

Hesitant at first, he eventually nodded his head to agree. “I’m feeling a little tired…” 

 

“Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up” Natasha said softly before reaching over to turn off the lights. She leaned back into the chair trying to get as comfortable as she possibly could despite the fact that the chair she was sitting on was as stiff and hard as a board. She wasn’t going to complain about something as little as discomfort - at least she got to spend the night making sure Steve was going to be okay. Natasha noticed that Steve was looking at her strangely and began to feel worried - she hopped out of her seat instantaneously, ready to do whatever he needed. “What’s wrong? Are you in too much pain? Should I go get the nurse?” 

 

“No” He shook his head. He hesitated for a bit before patting the open space on the bed, offering her to sleep with him. “I-uh- if you sleep on that chair all night long, you’re going to get a kink in your neck.” He rambled on a bit before taking a deep breath. “You can sleep with me.” he said again only with more confidence this time. Just because he was hurt by her doesn’t mean he was going to let her suffer on an uncomfortable chair; his momma raised him better than that. 

 

“Don’t be silly Steve. You’re in pain. I’ll only hurt you more” Natasha protested.

 

“I’m not asking” He offered a small smile before opening his arms to signal for her to come to him. “It’s the least I could do when you’re going to be stuck with me until I’m all healed” 

 

As much as she wanted to tell him no, the smile on his face and the hope in his eyes made it impossible for her to go with the logical choice. You will be the death of me Rogers. She gently crawled into the confined space next to Steve, careful to not accidentally jab him in his wounds or interfere with any of the wires he was connected to. She cautiously wrapped an arm around him and laid her head gently on his arm. It was a tight fit considering how big Steve was but she managed to find a comfortable position without hurting him. She could literally feel his heart racing against his chest and wondered if he could feel the rapid beating of her heart as well. Somehow, it felt safe in his arms. As if this was what she had been missing from her life all along - it just felt… right. Safe was never something she’s ever felt before. At least when it came to relationships. They laid in silence, neither one saying a word to each other. After a few minutes, she could feel Steve’s breathing slow down and steady. She turned her head ever so slightly to find him in deep sleep. He looked so peaceful despite the tiny furrow in his eyebrow; even in his sleep he was brooding. She felt a smile tug on her face and waited a few more minutes to make sure he was fully asleep before leaning up slowly to place a tiny light peck on his lips and then settled back into his arm to go to sleep too.


	11. Chapter 11

_A few days later_

 

Steve Rogers was many things but patient was definitely not one of them; which was why he was more than ecstatic that the doctor finally signed off on his release form. Not that he didn’t appreciate the hospital saved his life because he did but between his childhood and his time in the military, he had spent more than his fair share in the hospital. He was still in a lot of pain so the doctor specifically given him directions to do nothing but rest and let his wounds heal before doing anything physical and he meant anything physical. 

 

“With your condition, rest is the only cure. You’re healing and we want to make sure you continue healing. My profession advice is for you to take things easy. No physical activities. That includes sex” The doctor’s eyes looked right at Natasha as if the last part was specifically meant for her. Natasha had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing at the ridiculous shade of red on Steve’s face from embarrassment. 

 

“No worries doctor. We’re just friends” Natasha answered after she got control of her laughter. “Isn’t that right Steve?” She asked teasingly at him as she watched his face continue to get a deeper shade of red (if that were possible). 

 

“Uh Y-y-yes.” He stammered quickly. “Just friends” 

 

The doctor eyes darted back and forth between the couple and shook his head as if he didn’t believe either one of them. “Whatever you kids say. Sign here and you can be on your way.” 

 

Steve quickly took the pen and signed the papers - eager to move past the awkward subject. Not because he was particularly shy about the sex conversation (okay, maybe a little) but because Natasha and him didn’t even discuss the elephant in the room yet. It wasn’t that they were pretending per say - they just weren’t talking about it at all. Out of sight, out of mind. Besides, he hasn’t had much time to actually analyze his feelings. It was sort of difficult to when the person he had to think about was constantly around - the only time she left the hospital was when he practically begged her to go home for some proper rest or to shower. It’s not that he didn’t appreciate her presence because he did but it was all getting a little confusing. They got along and talked like they did before the argument but things were different. The change was subtle and probably unnoticeable to other people but it was there. 

 

“Well, let’s get you home big guy.” Natasha said as she kicked herself off of the bed and grabbed his personal belongings. 

 

Steve nodded his head and slowly stood up - wincing slightly at the pain that was shooting through his body. It hurt but it was bearable. 

 

“You know the hospital is not going to let you walk out of here. You gotta sit in the wheelchair.” Natasha raised her eyebrow at him. For someone who just got shot, he sure was hellbent on proving to everyone that he was perfectly fine when he clearly wasn’t. Steve’s face scrunched at her comment disapprovingly. “It’s okay to need help Steve. It doesn’t make you weak.” She said softly. 

 

“I’m okay.” He began to protest. “I’ve been hurt way worse than this.”

 

Natasha shook her head and rolled her eyes. Men. “You’re so stubborn, you know that?”

 

“I’ve been told.” He gave her his I’m a little shit smile that she found completely sexy. 

 

“Get in the chair Cap. Now. That is if you want to go home” She ordered him which made him scrunch his face again. “What?” 

 

He slowly lifted himself up again and transferred onto the wheelchair despite his displeasure “Don’t call me Cap again.”

 

“Why not? Everyone else calls you that. It’s kinda growing on me.” 

 

He shook his head in disgust. “Still. It sounds weird coming from you.” 

 

Natasha raised her eyebrow out of curiosity. Steve must have realized how wrong it sounded because he immediately explained himself. 

 

“Not like that. It’s just a nickname the guys gave me back in the military.”

 

“I get it” Natasha nodded her head understandingly. It made sense why he didn’t want her to call him by Cap. It was a part of his past, he wasn’t exactly proud of. More importantly, it was a stage in his life she wasn’t a part of. “Fine. You know what that means right?” She said with a smirk. 

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“I gotta find another nickname for you.”

 

“Alright.” Steve chuckled. “Let’s just get outta here”

 

 

The car ride was surprisingly quiet - not an awkward kind of quiet but a comfortable, peaceful quiet. Neither one really knowing what to say to the other person, both lost in thought. The hospital was their safe place but now that Steve was released, they were forced back into the real world which meant the convenience of avoiding their issues were slowly but surely coming to an end. Eventually Steve broke the silence when he realized that they were parking in front of her apartment instead of his. 

 

“I thought you were taking me home?” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

 

“No. You assumed I was taking you home.” Natasha said with a shrug before getting out of the car and walking to the passenger side to open the door for him. Steve slowly stepped out of her corvette - doing the best he could to hide the pain he was feeling. He debated on whether he should protest and politely demand her to take him home but decided it would just be wasted effort. He needed someone to take care of him even if he didn’t want to admit and she was nice enough to offer. Besides, beggars can’t be choosers - not that he was exactly disappointed. He slowly followed her into her apartment and stood by the door standing awkwardly - not really sure what to do. 

 

“Make yourself at home.” Natasha said before disappearing into her room to change into something a little more comfortable. When she came out, she found Steve in the same spot she left. He looked so uncomfortable that she started to feel bad about deciding to take him to her place instead of his without his consent. “I grabbed some of your clothes from your apartment a few days ago if you want to take a shower. Or you could take a bath. My tub has jets.”

 

Steve wanted to decline her offer - not wanting to impose but the jets sounded far too tempting. A hot bath just might be the thing he needed to jumpstart his healing process. “If it’s not too much to ask for, a hot bath would be greatly appreciated” he said sheepishly. He wasn’t used to having someone take care of him or showing weakness. This was definitely a different territory for him. 

 

“Not at all Steve. I’ll go run your bath.” She quickly made her way back into her room and into her personal bathroom. She turned on the water - checking to make sure the temperature was warm enough before adding a few drops of lavender into the water. Steve would probably complain about how unnecessary and unmasculine the scent is but she didn’t care. “It’s ready” she yelled out for him to come in. She turned her head and saw him standing at the door almost too shy to come in since she was in there. 

 

“Thanks” He said hesitantly taking a step inside. “I - uh, I can handle a bath myself. You don’t have to stay for this” 

 

“Uh uh Rogers. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you wincing in pain every chance you think I’m not pay attention because I’ve definitely noticed. I’m going to turn around and you’re going to hop in the tub. Then I’m going to rub some of medicated oil onto your body so you can feel better.” She crossed her arms waiting for him to challenge her orders. She smiled when she saw him sigh and nod his head. She quickly turned around to give him a little bit of privacy. It didn’t take too long before she heard small splash sound.

 

“I’m uh in.” 

 

Natasha turned around and saw him sitting in the tub with a slight blush on his face. She grabbed the medicated oil from under the sink before taking a seat on the edge of the tub. The first thing she noticed was how defined his muscles were - to think she thought his body looked great before. Everything was so well defined and rock hard. Her eyes mindlessly trailed down his body - His hands were strategically positioned to cover his lower half which made her smirk to herself. Natasha wanted so badly to tease him but forced herself not to. He was already uncomfortable enough - the poor guy (not like he had a reason to be self conscious). She quickly poured a generous amount of oil onto her hands and started to rub his shoulders and arms - softly at first before gradually adding pressure. Pleased when she felt Steve loosen up and moan in pleasure, she moved on to his chest - slowly let her fingers brush down on his rock hard abs. Before she could even process what she was doing, her hands naturally dropped lower and slightly touched his manhood, causing Steve to shudder. 

 

“I’m sorry” she mumbled and moved her hand back toward his chest but Steve grabbed her hand to stop her. 

 

His eyes were darkened with lust - staring straight at her. “Don’t worry about it.” Steve didn’t know what has taken over him, all he knew was he wanted her - real bad. It was foolish of him to believe he could just push his feelings for her aside and pretend that he didn’t want her anymore - not when it was so obvious (now more than ever) that he still did. He knew it was wrong - they were friends and they haven’t even talked about their issues yet but his male instincts were in control. Maybe this was fate’s way of telling him to just go with the flow and let destiny take its course. He guided her hand slowly back to where it was a few seconds ago - making sure to not get to close to allow her to make her move. The ball was in her court now. He wasn’t going to force her to do anything she didn’t want.

 

At first, Natasha was reluctant to act - not sure whether to advance or to put a stop to what was about to happen. Her screaming no, telling her that this would only complicate matters more but her heart was telling her to just do it because it’s what she truly wanted. She searched his eyes to see if she could find any conflict in them but she found none. There was nothing but lust and a hint of something else - she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. No one has ever looked at her the way Steve was looking at her before - All she knew was he wanted her. Without wasting another second, she took him into her hands and started to stroke his already hard member slowly. God he was big. She never had a doubt in her mind that Steve was well endowed but damn was the man gifted. 

 

He leaned his head back moaning in pleasure before taking his hand and grabbing her face, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. Natasha could feel herself getting lost in the kiss - enjoying the taste of him. He was hands down the best kisser in her book. The fact that Steve was normally such a passive laid back guy that this aggressiveness only added more to her arousal. She kissed him back just as hard - fighting to gain control of the situation but Steve didn’t make it an easy. They made out for a little longer before Natasha started to grow impatient. As much as she was enjoying this, she wanted more - needed more. 

 

“Steve. Bed. Now” Natasha ordered in between the kisses. Steve nodded, lifting himself out of the tub, taking her hand as she lead him back to her bedroom. When they got to the bed, Natasha pushed Steve onto bed. “Lay back” she ordered with a playful smirk on her face. When he did as she told, she slowly stripped off clothes teasingly - enjoying how intrigued Steve looked as his eyes roamed her body. He wasn’t the only person who liked what they saw because Natasha was admiring every inch of his perfect body as well. She teased her way on top of him, leaving a trail of kisses from his lips down to the prize. She grabbed his dick and teased his tip with tip of her tongue before taking him fully in her mouth. His moans were music to her ears - husky and absolutely sexy. Never in her life has she had such a strong urge to want to be able to make someone so happy before. After a few minutes, she quickened her pace causing Steve to moan an oh shit, followed by her name before he came hard in her mouth which she happily drank every last drop of cum. 

 

She climbed up to lay down next to him - observing his reaction even though she knew she had done an outstanding job pleasing him. Natasha may be terrible with emotions but sex was her area of expertise. His heavily breathing and fluster look gave Natasha a strong sense of accomplishment. 

 

“Are you okay?” She whispered with a soft smile on her face. 

 

“Uh huh. Just give me a sec” Steve took a few deep breaths before attempting to return the favor.

 

“What are you doing?” Natasha stopped him, forcing him to lay back down. 

 

“I wanted to make you feel good too” Steve said with obvious confusion. He wasn’t used to one sided sex; at least not when it came to girls he had genuine feelings for.

 

“Are you crazy? The doctor said no physical activities.” 

 

Her serious expression caused Steve to laugh. “You’re kidding right?” 

 

“Do I look like I’m joking?” She raised her eyebrow challengingly at him. 

 

“But you didn’t get anything in return” 

 

“It’s okay.” Natasha shrugged before cuddling into his body. She could hear Steve sigh before muttering a defeated okay. There was a brief moment of silence as they laid cuddled up together before Steve spoke. 

 

“Nat?”

 

“Hmm?” 

 

“We need to talk.”


	12. Chapter 12

As soon as the words left Steve’s mouth, Natasha’s world stopped. She knew that this moment was going to happen eventually, she just didn’t realize that it was going to happen this soon. She sighed and nudged her face deeper into his chest, trying to savor the moment for as long as possible - in case she managed to fuck up again because she apparently had a tendency to do that when it came to Steve. “Okay.” She murmured into his chest.

 

She could feel Steve rub comforting circles on her arms as he sighed. “What are we?” His voice was soft and free of any animosity. 

 

Natasha didn’t know how to really answer his question. They were stuck somewhere between friends and more than friends -. Truthfully, she never believed there was such a place; you were either together or you weren’t - that was until now. Normally, what she had with Steve would be considered “friends with benefits”. However, this situation didn’t seem to fall into that category because there was something more. Feelings were involved and not the average “I find you sexy so let’s fuck” type of feelings but the genuine kind that involved actual affection and adoration. She tried to pinpoint an exact moment of when the dynamic of their friendship shifted but she found that she couldn’t. It just happened. Somewhere along the very short time she had with Steve, she fell in love. “I don’t know” she finally answered. 

 

Steve nodded his head and added his own sigh. “When did things get so complicated?” He could feel Natasha shrug slightly. “Can I ask you something?” 

 

“You already did.” Natasha chuckled lightly. 

 

“I’m being serious right now” Steve said with a soft laugh of his own, nudging her playfully. Natasha nudged him back before nodding her head, urging him to ask whatever question he wanted to ask. “Ask me.”

 

She noticed Steve’s expression suddenly turn serious. She could sense a nervousness coming from him - as if whatever he wanted to ask her was weighing heavy on his chest. “Steve?” She propped herself up so she could be at eye level with him. “Whatever it is, you can ask me.” She placed a reassuring hand on his chest. 

 

Steve looked her in the eyes and nodded - letting out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “I want you to disregard my feelings and be honest with me. Okay? Like don’t even worry about hurting my feelings.” Natasha looked at him unsure but ultimately nodded her head to agree. “Okay.”

 

“What do you feel for me?” 

 

Here was the moment of truth - the moment she was dreading, not because she didn’t feel anything for him because she did. The truth was she felt more for Steve than she’s ever felt for any other guy in her entire life. The problem was she was afraid to admitting it because admitting made it real and that terrified her. The last time she’s opened her heart to anyone, she had it ripped out of her chest and shredded into a million pieces and her feelings for the man didn’t even amount to anything she felt for Steve; she could only imagine how painful it would be if they didn’t work out. However, when she pictured Steve with someone else, she got this unbearable ache in her chest which meant she only had one choice to make. For once in her life, she was going follow her heart.

 

“When Clint got the phone call that you were in the hospital, my heart stopped. I thought it was God’s way of punishing me for the horrible things I said to you. I really thought I was going to lose you.” The tears started to form in her eyes but she fought hard to hold them back. She needed to get everything off her chest now or else she might punk out. “I thought I was going to lose you Steve. It might sound terrible for me to admit this but seeing you so badly hurt, laying in a hospital bed was a reality check for me. It opened my eyes to how much I truly care for you.” She took a small deep breath to control the emotions that were threatening to spill out before continuing on. “You’ve become my best friend Steve. I care about you so much.” She softly placed her hand over his cheek. 

 

Steve grabbed her hand and gently placed a sweet kiss on it. “You know since I’ve met you, my life has turned upside down.” He gave her one of his adorable half smiles. “In a good way I promise.” He added which earned a chuckle from Natasha. “I was so lost before you. It was like I was existing but not living. I have so much baggage but somehow you helped me push past them. I mean, they’re still there but it’s slowly getting better. I used to think that I was too damaged for anyone but you never looked at me as damaged goods”

 

“Because you’re not.” Natasha interjected. 

 

“To you. Everyone else literally walks on eggshells around me.” He shook his head with his face scrunched. “The point is I like who I am becoming because of you. It might sound corny but it’s like you took the broken parts of me and somehow pieced them together, stitch by stitch.” He looked away slightly with a slight blush on his face - kinda embarrassed by how lame he sounded. “I’m sorry. It sounded a lot less cheesy in my head.” he said with a light laugh.

 

Little did he know, Natasha actually was at a loss for words. Not only did Steve always speak with such sincerity but his actions actually backed it up which was rare; at least with the men she knew. He never gave her any reason to doubt him so it made no sense as to why she was so hesitant. Steve Rogers could be the man she has been waiting for her whole life - her soul mate (not that she truly believed in those). Even if he wasn’t, a part of her had the desire to just give them a chance. “You fixed me too.” She said with a soft smile once she found her voice. They laid wrapped up in each other's’ arms for a little longer before Steve broke the silence.

 

“So what are we?” 

 

“I don’t know.” Natasha answered with a sigh. “I don’t want to rush anything. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

 

“I agree.” Steve nodded. “But we should set up some kind of agreement.”

 

“Agreement?” Natasha looked up at him with confusion.

 

“Well you care for me and I care for you” his words trailed off slightly. “It makes sense to at least give us a chance right?” 

 

Natasha considered his proposition for a second before nodding her head in agreement - at least he wasn’t rushing her to commit. 

 

A huge smile spread across Steve’s face, relieved that things between them were finally headed in the right direction. He didn’t care if they moved at snail pace because truthfully he was terrified himself - maybe more than she was. “Alright so even though we’re not official. We’re not going to see other people.” 

 

“What kind of girl do you take me for?” Natasha raised her eyebrow - teasing him. She wasn’t even the slightest bit offended by his suggestion simply because it was Steve. 

 

“I’m just saying.” He chuckled. “We are exclusive to each other without being exclusive.” He lifted his pinky promise up at her. “Promise?” 

 

Natasha couldn’t resist but laugh at his childish antics. She had never met another grown man that solidifies his promises with a pinky promise. Fucking adorable. “Promise” She wrapped her pinky around his finger to seal the deal before lightly placing a kiss on his lips and then laying back into his arms. 

 

“You know this isn’t going to be simple right?” 

 

“Not like simple ever really described us.” Natasha shrugged. As she laid tracing tiny circles on his chest, Laura’s face suddenly popped into her mind, causing her to chuckle softly.

 

“What is it?” Steve said curiously as he looked down as his unofficial girlfriend.

 

“I just thought of Laura and how happy she would be right now.”

 

“About what?”

 

“Us.” Natasha noticed that confusion spread on Steve’s face. “She’s been rooting for us since the night you came over for dinner.”

 

Steve’s face scrunched up as he tried to recall the events of that night. “Really? I didn’t even know.”

 

“Of course you didn’t.” Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’re the most oblivious person I know.”

 

Steve laughed at her statement. It wasn’t the first time a person accused him of being oblivious to the obvious. “Well remind me to thank her.” He looked down to see Natasha with closed eyes. God, she was so beautiful. Never in a million years would he thought he would find himself in a position like this. For once in his life, he was choosing to be selfish - for finally allowing someone to come into his life even though he wasn’t fully healed from his past. It wasn’t just a big step for Natasha to open up (because he knew how hard it was considering her past relationship) but for him as well. She challenged him to want better, to be better, and more importantly to know what it felt like to truly want to be loved by someone. They weren’t perfect - as a matter of fact they were two broken people but somehow their broken pieces seemed to fit together. And whatever issues they had, together they could learn to mend those wounds, stitch by stitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this is the end to my story. I wanted to drag it out a little longer but due to the events of my new job and life, I've decided to end it here. I'll still be writing but mostly will be one shots. I'll be more than happy to take any requests for one shots! Thank you for everyone's love and support - I really appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and reviews. I would love to know what you think.


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